Starring :
----------
Captain John-Luke Ricard, who always baldly goes where everyone already went
before, aboard his (t)rusty old bucket, the starship LESSERPRIZE ;
Captain Jane Myway, woman of extremes, who either whispers softly or talks
forcefully and either stands perplexed or acts resolutely - and
therefore either rigorously defends or quickly evacuates her starship,
the TOURIST ;
Commander Bill Piker, First Officer ("Number One"), whose primary job is to
maintain a poker face, giving the impression to be extremely important
without ever having to do anything even remotely useful ;
Lieutenant-Commander Beta, the android who desperately tries to imitate the
silliness of his crewmates - and sometimes sadly succeeds admirably ;
Lieutenant Morf, Chief of Security, who growls a lot in Cling-On language and
continuously wants to drop dead with a lot of honour ;
Lieutenant-Commander Jordi LaGorge, Chief Engineering, the techno-babbling
engineer who enjoys looking through a hair-band and who obtained such
a high degree in space-time theory, that he can repair a systems
failure even before it occurs ;
Counselor Dianne Toy, the ship's partly telepathic adviser, who has to take
care of everyone's emotional problems, but who can't get rid of her
own eternal obsession with chocolate.
Special guest : Björk as "Yun"...
Stardate 49236.1. Ricard wakes up out of a nightmare, bathing in sweat. He slowly gets out of bed and stares across the room, which is filled with the orange-red light from the rising sun. Sleepy, the former StarForce captain thinks about the time he has been living here in his house on Earth, together with his wife Jane Myway and his 10 year old son Henry... It's been 12 years since he resigned from StarForce, following the destruction of his starship, the U.R.N.S. Lesserprize. The old man (well, he was already old 12 years ago, so imagine what he's like now...) looks up to a fuzzy, purple nebula in the sky. RICARD : "(After all those years... Why have you come back to haunt me? Damn you! What the devil do you want from me?!)" A couple of hours later, Ricard is joined by his son and his wife - who has beamed down from her own starship, the Tourist - around the breakfast table. RICARD : "Well, Henry, you've been mashing, moulding and generally playing around with your food for the last half an hour. Tell me, do you also intend to eat it?" HENRY : "I'm sorry, daddy, but I'm just not feeling hungry." MYWAY : "It's understandable, my son. We're all feeling a bit worried because of what is happening to the sun." RICARD : "The climate is already changing because of it... There's a more frequent, stronger wind now and the temperatures are much higher than they used to be. It's only spring, but it's already scorching hot outside." MYWAY : "I have been conducting some tests on the Nebula, but although it's obvious that it is somehow destabilizing the nuclear fusion at the centre of the sun, we weren't able to detect any emission of particles from the Nebula to prove this." RICARD : "Have you made certain that StarForce knows nothing about your investigation?" MYWAY : "Have no fear, I took the necessary precautions... [putting her hands on those of her husband] Don't despair, my love, as I promised you long ago, I will do everything in my power to discover what you were never allowed to find out by StarForce." RICARD : "My only fear is that if they learn of your actions, we will all suffer the consequences..." MYWAY [smiling reassuringly] : "Don't worry, they won't. You resigned because you weren't allowed to investigate the Nebula and now it has reappeared, out of nowhere, in the same way it vanished all those years ago. This is a unique opportunity to understand why StarForce is holding back information that we have the right to know about." RICARD : "I know, dearest. Just take care of yourself." It is twelve years ago, before the first sighting of the Nebula, that a new team of ensigns is enlisted on board the starship Lesserprize. Commander Bill Piker, the ship's First Officer, has been assigned to be their mentor. When Piker talks to impress, he doesn't just raise his voice, he also sounds somewhat angry and irritated, as if it's time to go off duty but someone is preventing him to do so. At this particular occasion of calling over the names of the new ensigns, his apparent frustration grows even bigger when he can't quite find the correct pronunciation of the last name on the list... PIKER : "Ensign... Bshani... Bdzjani Y££n!" ENSIGN BJANI YUN : "No, that's BEEYANI - YOON, like in afterNOON." PIKER [annoyed] : "Hmpf, whatever. So, now that I know all that I care to know about any of you [their names ; Piker's brain can't assimilate any more knowledge at this moment - or at any moment, in fact], I will start by giving you a few basics in self-defence. Ensign Yun [this name is still "fresh" in his memory, the rest is already a bit "over- ripe"], come over here. What do you do when I try to attack you like THIS!" Maybe Piker is a bit rusty, but before he has time to wipe that rather large piece of dust out of his eye that obviously prevents him from seeing Yun's blindingly fast reactions (well give the poor chap some credibility), he's already lying on the floor in a rather uncomfortable position. Now that wouldn't be so bad, if only his captain didn't enter the room at that precise moment. RICARD : "Commander, I gave you this assignment in good faith! If you are too tired for it, perhaps you better return to the Bridge, where people are used to seeing you like this." PIKER [slowly getting up, looking bewildered] : "Er... I was just showing ensign Yun the dangers of sleeping in an unnatural position..." RICARD [relieved] : "Oh, I see. It is indeed vital for one's general fitness to sleep in a healthy fashion. And who better qualified than you to teach such things, Number One? Glad to see your natural talents being employed to their fullest extent. Continue as you were, Commander!" PIKER [not exactly enjoying the prospect of "continuing as he was"] : "Er, I think I have already put my pupils through enough for today. [pulling himself - at least his arrogance - back together] Alright, ensigns! To your quarters! You'll have the pleasure of seeing me again tomorrow! Dismissed!" With an unimpressed look on her face, ensign Yun leaves the room with the others, while Piker and Ricard have a chat about the new recruits. RICARD : "So that's ensign Yun? I was briefed that she was a very promising student at the Academy." PIKER : "Yeah, she's only 14 and has already graduated with flying colours. [feeling his painful back] I wonder how she will perform here." RICARD : "That's your job to find out, Bill. Your guidance will have a big influence on her behaviour aboard this ship." PIKER [smiling reassuringly] : "I'll do my best to shape her personality like my own, Sir!" RICARD : "Er... I wouldn't go THAT far, Number One..." Sitting pretty on the Bridge, counselor Toy is mentally preparing herself for a first contact meeting with a newly discovered alien race, the Cherulians. The Lesserprize is within a few light-years of their homeworld. TOY [talking through Ricard's communicator badge] : "Captain, we are nearing Cherulus." RICARD : "Understood, Counselor. We're on our way." Piker and Ricard enter the Bridge, where Chief Engineer Jordi LaGorge is tightening several screws that came loose during a previous attack on the Lesserprize. Tactical Officer Morf, always ready to shoot things, is nervously grinding his teeth. Beta, the android, is calmly blinking his eyelids in another attempt to be more human, while Piker sits down in his chair, doing nothing to be more human, or anything at all, actually. RICARD [unintentionally putting his hand in something brown and sticky as he takes over the captain's chair from Toy] : "...What is this stuff on my chair?!" PIKER [amused] : "Been eating that chocolate pudding again, Dianne?" TOY [with a sense of guilt] : "Ahem..." Being a StarForce officer, thoroughly trained in self-discipline, lieutenant Morf usually has no problem controlling his natural tendency to growl and show his teeth, but this time he has some difficulties... PIKER [slightly irritated by the sound that comes from deep within Morf's throat] : "Morf, is something wrong?" MORF [painfully moving his jaws as he speaks] : "Today is a very important day in every Cling-On's life. It is Ko'Kroh, Day of RazorBite, when we get an extra set of teeth. And those fancy bones sticking out through both sides of our noses get a bit longer too. Baby Cling-On's get a few extra milk-teeth and unborn babies kick a bit harder in their mother's womb. In ancient times, this was the first day of a one-week period during which we fought with our natural enemies, the Cling-To's. They were eventually exterminated because they always used to cling to their traditional combat-style, making it easy for us to wipe them out with more advanced weapons." RICARD : "Er, thanks for sharing all that with us, Mr. Morf. But if you feel uncomfortable and would rather leave the Bridge for a while, feel free to -" MORF [with a fierce look in his eyes] : "NO SIR!!!! THANKS ANYWAY SIR!!!!" RICARD [a bit intimidated] : "Er... fine, you can stay at your post then. I wouldn't want to argue with that new set of teeth of yours..." BETA : "Cherulian ambassador Kralec will rendez-vous with the Lesserprize in exactly 4.1357954 minutes, Captain." RICARD : "Very well, Mr. Beta. Isn't it fascinating, Number One, to meet all those new races and cultures?" PIKER : "Maybe, but I've seen so many different aliens in the last few years that it makes me feel dizzy just thinking about all those we still have to encounter..." Just when Piker has finished his sentence, someone dressed like a boy-scout appears on the Bridge with an intens flash of light... BEING : "Then I will be your guide!" TOY : "I never expected the Cherulians to look so much like humans." LAGORGE : "Wow! They certainly have an advanced transportation technology!" RICARD : "Cherulian ambassador Kralec, I presume?" BEING : "The Cherulians! Hah! Meaningless creatures." RICARD [surprised] : "Then... Who or what are you?!" BEING : "I belong to a race that calls itself "the Cue Coincidence", because that's how we appear : seemingly by coincidence, but always right on cue! You can call me... "Cue". We have appeared many times in human history - we made your "brilliant scientists" think out all those ingenious inventions and led them to those amazing discoveries - but this is the first time one of us reveals his true identity." RICARD : "Why now?" CUE : "Because you humans have reached the level of arrogance to think you are ready to understand higher beings like us - which you are most definitely not ; you will soon find out for yourselves. You wanted to explore the remote corners of space, Ricard? Well here's your chance!" When Cue snaps his fingers, the Lesserprize shakes as it's being hurled across the galaxy at an incredible speed. Looks like LaGorge will have his hands full for another couple of weeks... RICARD [rolling over the floor] : "What's the meaning of this?! What are you doing to my vessel?! Stop it!" CUE [teasing] : "You disappoint me, Ricard. I thought you had a passion for the unexpected? Well, don't worry, we have arrived." RICARD [slowly standing up, still a bit shaky] : "Where are we? Mr. Beta, report!" BETA : "Sensors indicate that we have travelled... an immeasurable distance in a few seconds, Captain." RICARD [angrily turning to Cue] : "How dare you pull us away from such an important encounter with a potential new member of the Federation?! Take us back immediately!" CUE : "Temper, temper! I will take you back in due time, but first I want to show you a few things..." As Cue snaps his fingers, the viewscreen is activated. Colourful, strangely shaped and seemingly unreal objects brighten up the eternal night of the galaxy. Those on the Bridge are not the only ones who have the privilege to admire this weird and wonderful starscape... YUN [looking through the window in her quarters] : "(Something has happened to the Lesserprize... We must be billions of light-years away from where we were a minute ago! How will we get back?)" Feeling somewhat worried and insecure, Yun takes a small toy-robot out of her luggage and winds it up. An unexpectedly beautiful sound, almost like a chant, comes out of it, making Yun relax... CUE : "So, there we are : the final boundary! These are would-be stars at the outer rim of the universe. Unbelieveable sight, isn't it? I could show you what lies beyond, but I'm afraid you wouldn't like it there..." PIKER [intrigued] : "Why? What's beyond the boundary?" CUE : "Oh, all those things you misplaced once and could never find again, the happiness that you were deprived of when your luck turned, the possibility to be whatever it is that you always wanted to be... Actually, all your dreams will come true, because that's all that will remain of you when you attempt to cross the boundary : a dream! In other words, you'll be quite dead. Still interested?" PIKER : "Absolutely! You don't scare us that easily, Cue!" CUE [pleased] : "Well, at least someone in here has a sense of adventure! Let's go then!" Before the unbelieving eyes of the Lesserprize crew, a different type of reality reveals itself... They are in some kind of ethereal void, filled with gigantic living organisms, of which the known universe proves to be a mere molecule... CUE : "You have already seen much more than you were ever supposed to see. I wanted you to see it, simply to make you understand just how painful it is for us to lower ourselves to your level of existence. You view everything through a pair of sunglasses that you call "logic". And in your world, that's a good thing, because it allows you to see enough of the truth without hurting your eyes. But it also prevents you from seeing the light at its full splendour, which would make you go blind. If you would ever even come close to understanding the slightest about what lies beyond your world of comprehension, you would literally go insane." RICARD : "If all this is true, why interest yourself in us?" CUE : "Why is the owner of a dog interested in his pet?" RICARD [angry] : "We are not your pets, dammit!" CUE [sarcastic] : "You sure bark well enough like one..." RICARD : "Now that we saw what you wanted to show us, I demand that you take us back!" CUE : "Consider it done!" Following another bright flash, Cue has disappeared and the Lesserprize is back where it was before their meeting with the seemingly almighty being. BETA : "We are back in orbit around Cherulus, Captain. The ship's chronometer indicates that no time has passed since the Cue-being appeared." RICARD : "As if nothing happened... That Cue seems to have control over time and space. I don't know what he has in mind, but I fear we haven't seen the last of him..." MORF : "Captain, Cherulian ambassador Kralec is asking permission to be beamed aboard." RICARD : "Granted. I'll meet him in Transporter Room 3." PIKER : "I've seen enough aliens for today. If anyone needs me, I'll be in my quarters." RICARD : "Until tomorrow then." In his quarters, Piker prepares himself some good old-fashioned soup without the use of a replicator. PIKER [adding the final ingredients] : "(There, that should do it...)" VOICE [from behind Piker] : "I think you forgot the mothballs." PIKER [dropping the entire bag of salt into the soup from astonishment] : "What the...?! Cue! Thanks a lot, you just ruined my soup! I've been sweating over it for the last three hours!" CUE : "Oh really? So that's where it's got that smell from. Saves you the trouble of using water and salt, I suppose. But why use the extra salt then?" PIKER [furious] : "Look, if you have something to say, say it or leave!" CUE : "My, what spirit! You're not at all like that old croûton of a captain, are you? I suspected as much, which is why I come to bring you a gift..." PIKER : "Why don't you just... snap your fingers and get that salt out of my soup! That's all I want from you, apart from leaving me alone!" CUE : "Fine, I will leave, but why don't you snap your fingers yourself? Go on, try it!" PIKER : "What? You mean...?" Expectantly looking at his soup, Piker does what Cue suggests and sees to his amazement how the salt flows out of the soup, back into the bag on the table. PIKER : "I felt it! It was so easy! All I had to do was wish for it to happen and it did! I never felt so powerful in my whole life! Thank you!" CUE : "No, thanCUE!" Now that Piker received Cue's "gift", he feels fit enough to go for a leisurely walk across the ship, until he meets the Cherulian ambassador... PIKER [looking at Kralec with contempt] : "It's true, you are nothing but a lowly worm! The mere sight of you makes me wanna puke!" KRALEC [talking with difficulty through his special breathing-device] "How... dare... you?! We... refuse... to join... such an... insulting... Federation!" PIKER : "Great! We don't wanna have anything to do with such pathetic creatures who can't even talk normally!" KRALEC : "I... will tell... your captain... about this!" PIKER : "Don't count on it! You will conveniently forget all about our encounter." As if in trance, Kralec walks past Piker, who grins and continues on his way... The next morning, Ricard meets Piker in the Briefing Room. PIKER : "Well, you pull a serious face! What's wrong?" RICARD : "I'm afraid the Cherulians are very reluctant to join the Federation..." PIKER : "Is that so? How sad." RICARD : "The ambassador didn't even give a reason..." PIKER [not surprised] : "Really? I wouldn't worry about it too much. If they're stupid enough to pass up this opportunity to join us, who needs'em?" RICARD [suspicious] : "Commander, I find your attitude rather surprising! You wouldn't have anything to do with this, by any chance?" PIKER [smiling arrogantly] : "Ah, who knows?" RICARD : "Your behaviour is becoming very annoying! If you don't tell me exactly what is wrong with you, I'll have to give you a reprimand for insubordination!" PIKER : "First of all, there's nothing "wrong" with me, quite on the contrary. Second, I don't give a damn about what you think of my actions, Ricard." RICARD : "I don't like that tone of voice, Number One!" PIKER : "Oh? Well excuuuse me, "Number Zero"! Heheh!" RICARD : "Alright, that does it! You are relieved of duty!" PIKER : "Sorry, but I can't accept your "kind offer", since I have a few ensigns to educate. Bye!" Before Ricard has the chance to protest, Piker disappears in a Cue-like flash. RICARD [bewildered] : "(Oh no... He's become a Cue!)" Determined to share his infinite wisdom and philosophies with his pupils, Piker enters the room where the ensigns are anxiously waiting... PIKER : "The first thing you have to learn aboard this ship, is to obey the rules and follow orders. Ensign Krim, bring me a glass of cognac from that replicator! And don't spill a drop on the floor!" YUN : "Isn't there a rule that says you can't drink when you're on duty?" PIKER : "That rule only applies to lower-ranked officers and the captain. I can drink whenever I want." YUN [whispering to herself] : "(Yeah, I suppose being sober or drunk wouldn't make much difference in your case...)" PIKER : "I heard that, ensign! For this insubordination you will clean up my quarters! On the double!" YUN : "Hey, I'm not your maid!" PIKER : "Do it or your career is over before it even started!" RICARD [suddenly entering the room] : "You're out of order, Commander! Ensigns, I want you to return to your quarters. Dismissed." After exchanging a few angry looks, both men sit down at a table, not really knowing how to deal with the situation. PIKER : "Now that Cue gave me these powers, the universe has become too small for me! Simply serving on board this ship doesn't represent a challenge to me anymore." RICARD : "Maybe getting a few days shore-leave would do you some good. I managed to persuade ambassador Kralec to travel with us to Dip Sauce Station 9, where he can get to know many of the other races that have already joined the Federation. While this will help him to decide whether or not his people should join too, you might find some recreation there. And please, Number One, try to stay out of the ambassador's way." PIKER : "Don't worry, I'll be glad to look for some more interesting company on the station." RICARD [talking through his communicator] : "Mr. Beta, set course for Dip Sauce 9." BETA : "That will not be necessary, Captain. We have already arrived." RICARD : "What? But how... Piker, have you done this?" PIKER : "Er, it happened kinda automatically..." When the Lesserprize has docked at DS9, Piker immediately sets off for some amusement on the Lemonade Deck. At a table around Quirk's Bar, he sees someone with an almost featureless face... PIKER : "Constable Dodo?" DODO : "Who wants to know?" PIKER [proud] : "I'm Commander Bill Piker, from the Lesserprize! [noticing Dodo's uninterested expression - which looks like all of his other expressions, actually] So, you are the shapeshifter I've heard so much about. Due to a recent encounter with an incredible alien life-form, I can change myself into anything I want, too. Why don't we hold a contest?" DODO [annoyed] : "I don't think so. But you can always turn yourself into a football, so I can kick you off the station." PIKER : "People say you're a bit of a joker, but I never saw a more serious guy in my life..." DODO : "That's because I'm a professional joker : I take my job SERIOUSLY! But if it's a good laugh you're after, why don't you just look in the mirror for half an hour..." PIKER [standing up] : "I guess I'll have to find myself a bit more like-minded company elsewhere." DODO : "What a coincidence! I happen to know a place where you would be very popular... [pointing to his right] Jail is th t way." PIKER : "Hmpf..." Because their mentor is off duty for the time being, the new ensigns also get the opportunity to visit Dip Sauce 9, under supervision of Morf, who was growling a bit too much for the sake of the other officers on the Bridge anyway. They are introduced to commander Cis&co, who run the station. CIS : "Maybe-one-day, you-will-serve, aboard-this-station. [yeah, sorry for the strange notation-type, but that's to indicate the exaggeratedly clear and distinct way this person talks. It's like, how shall I put it...?]" YUN : "(He sounds like a robot on drugs...) [thanx, I couldn't have said it better myself!]" CIS : "But, in-the-meantime, why-don't-you-visit, the-Lemonade-Deck." And why don't we find out what Piker is up to... At another table, he notices a familiar face. It's Chief Smiles O'Ryan, former Transporter Chief on board the Lesserprize, who is now Chief Engineer on Dip Sauce 9. He is also Chief of Operations and Chief Idiot. He is having lunch with his two friends, doctor Jules Basher and Barack the Sarcassian, ex-member of the feared Obnoxious Order on Sarcassia. BASHER : "Well, Barack, you must feel quite bored here, living in exile on Dip Sauce 9. After all, you must miss all the excitement you had when you were still with the Obnoxious Order?" BARACK [broadly smiling - as always] : "Not entirely, dear Doctor. Being a simple tailor in such an interesting place also has its advantages. You wouldn't believe what you can learn by taking people's measurements." OÕRYAN : "Still the old spy, eh? Well I'll make sure never to ask you for a new suit!" BARACK : "A shame, because your current uniform seems to be the wrong size, judging from those far too short sleeves..." PIKER [arriving at the table, smiling] : "Still too much work to roll them up, eh?" OÕRYAN [happily surprised to see someone with the same IQ] : "Commander Piker!" Pulling up a chair and joining O'Ryan at the table, Piker has a chat with his old friend, not revealing what recently happened to him. OÕRYAN : "I sure miss the times when I could fiddle around with the transporters on the Lesserprize, though. There's not much use for transporters on this station, since everyone comes aboard via the docking bays." PIKER : "So, you have no more use for that "teleporting touch", eh? Maybe I can change that..." But O'Ryan is only half aware of that last remark, as his attention is suddenly drawn to the heated discussion between Basher and Barack. BASHER : "... You see secrets everywhere, Barack. Well you won't get any out of me, as I haven't got any." BARACK : "Oh come now, Doctor! You don't honestly expect me to believe that, do you? [with a knowing smile] Every jacket has its inside pockets." OÕRYAN : "Mine hasn't." BARACK : "But then you never had an eye for fashion. Besides, your jacket is always hanging open anyway. [another broad grin, with his eyes wide open]" BASHER : "As a skilled surgeon, I know my way around needle and thread as well as any tailor, so I don't need you to fix my clothes. And when I feel the need to bare myself in front of you, I'll let you know." OÕRYAN [giving Basher a supportive tap on the back] : "You tell him, Jules!" Following O'Ryan's friendly gesture, Basher's uniform suddenly seems to turn into pure energy and disappears... BASHER : "It's getting pretty cold in here... [noticing his naked torso] Where is my uniform?!" BARACK [pulling his eyes open even wider than usual] : "Oh. You didn't have to go th t far to prove your point, Doctor." At his bar, Quirk, the small Meringi with the large earlobes, is taking Morf's order... QUIRK [holding out his hand] : "That'll be 2 bars of cold-pressed platinum... Sorry about this, but "Money talks, or the customer walks", Rule of Acquisition number 452.71..." MORF [looking at the food on his plate] : "Grrrr..." QUIRK : "Something wrong with the food?" MORF : "Eating this puts a stain on my honour! This food is DEAD! A warrior needs to kill in order to survive!" QUIRK [having a good view of all 64 of Morf's teeth] : "If you're going to display those teeth on a regular basis, you might consider cleaning them once in a while..." MORF : "A Cling-On's teeth are cleaned AUTOMATICALLY while tearing into shreds those who provoke him!" QUIRK [quickly adopting a more humble tone of voice] : "A very lively plate of fresh and kicking Chak'Nar worms coming right up..." MORF : "And something strong to drink!" QUIRK : "Of course... "The customer can be bold, as long as he shows the gold", Rule of Acqui-" MORF : "Grrrr!!" QUIRK : "Never mind..." Meanwhile, O'Ryan wants to take a sip from his glass of water to recover from the shock of seeing Basher's uniform vanish without apparent cause, but as soon as he touches his drink, it completely dematerializes into a pattern of pure energy... OÕRYAN : "Hey, what's happening here?!" PIKER [thoroughly enjoying the whole situation] : "Oh, probably some space- anomaly..." Distracted by the commotion coming from O'Ryan's table, Morf doesn't notice how the glass of water rematerializes right next to his plate. When he turns round, he watches the glass in disbelief and smells the liquid to confirm his suspicions... MORF [snatching Quirk by his collar and shouting into his big, sensitive ears] : "I asked for a strong drink, and you give me WATER?! How dare you mock me!!" QUIRK [dropping his next client's order onto the floor] : "Ughhh... [well what more can you say when your throat is being squeezed tight?]" Because the rest of this scene is too violent, let's see what commander Cis is doing on the Lemonade Deck. Since he shaved off his hair and grew a beard and moustache, he looks like some kind of black Gengis Kahn. It seems he is also interested in the table where Piker is having the time of his life... CIS : "I-suppose, teleporting-your-uniform, onto-my-desk, is-your-way, of-resigning, Doctor? Just-giving-me, your-badge, would-have, sufficed." BASHER : "I have no idea how it happened, Commander, but I didn't do it." OÕRYAN [looking in Piker's direction with a typically dumb expression] : "It seems I've still got that "teleporting touch"..." BASHER : "What do you mean, Chief?" OÕRYAN : "The commander here said something about giving me an opportunity to use my teleportation talents again..." CIS : "Is-this-person, giving-you-trouble?" PIKER [not intimidated] : "Well if it isn't the great commander Cis! It's always a special occasion when two famous officers meet, so why don't you offer me a drink!" CIS [not intimidated either] : "And, who-are-you?" PIKER : "The new and improved commander Bill Piker! But I forgive you for not recognizing me, as I've become even more impressive with my new powers. In fact, I almost didn't recognize you either, now that your hair changed position... Must be the artificial gravity that pulled it down! But allow me to rectify the situation..." With a snap of Piker's fingers, Cis no longer has any facial hair... Well he has, except it's on top of his head now, looking like a couple of fake make-up artifacts that are glued onto his cranium... PIKER : "There, that's more like it!" CIS : "I-do-not, find-this, very-amusing." PIKER : "Sorry, but you looked a bit too much like a black kind of Gengis Khan to my taste. [hey, I already said that!]" CIS : "Maybe-Geng-is-gone, but-I, am-here-to-stay." PIKER : "We'll see about that..." Just when Piker threatens to snap his fingers again, constable Dodo arrives at the scene... DODO : "Beware, Commander! This individual has certain abilities that allow him to teleport objects from one place to another." CIS [scratching the beard on his head] : "So-I've-noticed..." DODO : "I witnessed how the doctor's uniform disappeared and how the Chief's drink ended up with lieutenant Morf over there, whom I was only just able to stop from suffocating Quirk. I was suspicious about Piker ever since the conversation I had with him." CIS : "Well-done, Constable. I-do-not-like-it, when-someone, is-plunging-this- station, into-chaos, Mr.-Piker." PIKER : "You people are really beginning to annoy me! Why don't I just..." Piker may have impressive powers now, but his brain still needs a bit of time to come up with something original. Just when he almost has an idea, he notices ensign Yun approaching, who is intrigued by what is going on. PIKER [disturbed] : "What are you doing here, ensign? [noticing that Yun brought her toy-robot with her] If you wanna play with your dolls, maybe you should have stayed at home with your mammy! In fact, I think I'll send you there right now!" But when Piker tries to do his magic, Yun's toy produces a lovely chant... PIKER : "Dammit! I can't concentrate with that noise! It's driving me insane! [indeed looking even more insane than usual] If you don't turn that thing off, I'll do it myself!" OÕRYAN : "Oh come on, Bill, calm down!" When O'Ryan wants to bring Piker to his senses by taking his arm, the "new and improved" commander's molecules come apart in a surge of energy, as he slowly disappears from the Lemonade Deck... YUN : "(I hope he didn't end up at my mom's place - for his sake...)" DODO : "That'll teach him not to give his powers to irresponsible people." OÕRYAN : "Yeah thanks. But what am I going to do now? Everything I touch disappears." DODO : "That's what I said. Irresponsible." CIS : "Just, keep-your-hands, to-yourself, for-a-while, Chief." BARACK : "If you want, I can make you a couple of anti-teleport gloves. They ARE all the rage at this moment, after all." BASHER : "I didn't know that." BARACK : "Well now you do. Where there is a need, there is a fashion. [another big grin] And what about you, Commander? Can I tempt you with a '70's- style safari hat to tame that hairy jungle of yours?" CIS : "I-think-I'll-have, a-close-shave, instead." After having been painfully chased out of mother Yun's kitchen, Piker decides to go back to the Lesserprize, where he wants to show off some more to his captain... PIKER : "Cue's powers are very practical. Whenever I want a glass of champagne, all I have to do is snap my fingers [and so he does]. And here is something I always wanted! [snapping his fingers again] Something to lean on!" RICARD [looking at a long, vertical pole with an arm support that looks as if it was ripped from a luxurious armchair] : "What is that?" PIKER : "The "Piker Support TM"! Will last for ages! I must admit, I was a bit of a wimp before, but with these powers, I feel like a new man! What I need now is some good-looking young company..." Snapping his fingers once more, a half-naked woman appears in a bright flash. However, her rather wrinkled skin betrays her not-so-young age... PIKER [upset] : "Hey, she's supposed to be young and beautiful!" OLD LADY : "What's wrong, sweety, don't you like me? [changing into Cue] My apologies, dear Piker, but since you have been abusing your powers, the Cue Coincidence has ordered me to discontinue them. Bye!" Cue makes himself and Piker's drink disappear. PIKER [disappointed] : "Great..." RICARD [looking at the Piker Support TM] : "It seems Cue forgot something..." Just when Ricard says this, the stick vanishes in a flash of white light. PIKER [crashing to the floor like a block of lead] : "Hey!... Ouch!" RICARD [trying to look concerned] : "Everything alright, Number One?" PIKER : "I think I broke my arm! Ouch! Somebody get a doctor!" RICARD : "Glad to see you're back to your old wimpish self again..." Having returned to his usual passive duty, Piker resumes his nonchalant position on the Bridge. Since this means the end of shore-leave for the others as well, a still somewhat irritated Morf takes his place behind the tactical station, when a female ensign comes up to him... ENSIGN VAR : "Sir, can you confirm this report, please?" MORF [surprisingly upset] : "Again?! Have I not done so already?!" VAR [timidly] : "Er, no, Sir... Although I believe this is the second time I ask you..." MORF [taking the digital pad and tapping in the confirmation code] : "Grmbl... Here!" Meanwhile, Ricard is suffering from a similar kind of frustration... RICARD [impatiently straightening his uniform] : "Well, Mr. Beta?" BETA [surprised - well he would be, if he could] : "Sir?" RICARD [nervous] : "Why haven't you set course for the Negala System, Mr. Beta? I'm sure I asked you before!" BETA : "You have not, Sir." RICARD [stubborn] : "Then please do so, Mr. Beta... again. Engage!" Back on Earth, admiral Nerana Brynn is enjoying the pleasant disorder in her quarters while checking out some reports, when her two logical advisors enter. VETOK [sighing] : "With all due respect, Admiral, this room looks a mess, as usual." NURAK : "It is not appropriate for an admiral to live in chaos like this." BRYNN [with a grin] : "You don't approve of the way things look? Good! Then I know I must have done something right! Besides, how I organize my living space is MY business!" VETOK : "Admiral, since we completely fail to understand you and you never seem to agree with our judgement, the logical action for you to take would be to get someone else to advise you." BRYNN : "Oh I wouldn't dream of it! Who better to remind me that logic only gets in the way than a pair of true Volcans, who are more dedicated and loyal to their logical reasoning than to me? No, gentlemen, you will continue to inspire me with your brilliant logical suggestions, so I can follow my instincts to do exactly the opposite." NURAK : "We do not see the logic in that." BRYNN : "Well I would certainly hope not! Anyway, I wanted to see you because of this report I just got from StarForce Command. It seems some kind of nebula has suddenly appeared in our solar system, some hours ago. But why is no one allowed to investigate it? I suppose you were also briefed on this. Can you tell me anything more?" VETOK : "According to admiral Eldrick, who first detected the sudden formation of the nebula, high levels of radiation are emitted that would disrupt audio-visual contact with any vessel coming near it, which is why highly qualified engineers are already studying the phenomenon via long-range sensors. The admiral also claims that no further investigation will be necessary." BRYNN [nervously scratching her nose] : "So I simply have to sit back and relax, while some weird space anomaly has just come out of thin air? What would you advise me to do, Nurak?" NURAK [surprised] : "How can you even ask me such a thing? You must obey StarForce Command's orders and not interfere." BRYNN [looking at Nurak in disappointment] : "Hmm, OK, I guess I'll just have to accept that, then... That will be all, you may go now." VETOK [turning to Brynn as he leaves] : "Be warned, Admiral. As long as we are your advisors, it is our duty to monitor your actions. If your behaviour becomes too irrational, or if we catch you doing something that questions your loyalty to StarForce, we will be forced to relieve you of command." BRYNN [with a defiant expression on her face] : "I wouldn't have it any other way. I love a challenge! Dismissed!" NURAK [leaving Brynn's quarters] : "Most peculiar attitude..." VETOK : "Indeed. But she always tried to be different, ever since she was found on board that crashed shuttlecraft, five years ago." NURAK : "And there is still no indication of where that shuttle came from or why her memories from before the crash have never come back to her. Many consider her to be a real mystery, but I am certain that logic will give us the answers we seek." VETOK : "That is logical." Now that her advisors have left, admiral Brynn starts to feel very tense as she watches the time on her clock advance. BRYNN : "(I have always believed it were just nightmares... Could it really be visions of the future? Now that the Nebula out of my dreams has become a reality, how can I still doubt...)" Reluctantly, Brynn goes into another room, feeling as if something is about to happen... BRYNN : "(This is weird... It's almost like I shouldn't do this, but I have to. I have to warn them...) As Brynn sends out a message on a secure channel, she doesn't notice that someone enters her quarters. Meanwhile, on the Lesserprize... MORF : "Incoming message from StarForce, Captain. It is sent on a secure channel." RICARD [already standing up] : "Of course, Mr. Morf. Send it through to my quarters." TOY : "Captain? I sense that you were almost expecting that message. How did you know?" RICARD : "I can't explain it, Counselor, but I have the feeling that nothing could take me by surprise today. If you'll excuse me, I have a message to take." In his quarters, Ricard activates the viewscreen on his communications console and is greeted by a female StarForce admiral. RICARD : "Admiral Brynn? What can I do for you?" BRYNN : "Captain, I assume you have been informed about the nebula that has appeared near Earth?" RICARD [almost surprised] : "Actually, I -" BRYNN [nervously assuming that he has] : "When you go there to inspect, be warned that -" Suddenly, the screen goes blank... RICARD : "(Dammit! I had a feeling this would happen!)" Worried by the mysterious message, Ricard anxiously enters the Bridge. RICARD : "Mr. Beta, do you have any information on a nebula that has supposedly formed near Earth recently?" BETA : "I am now searching for recent messages from StarF-" RICARD : "Then just contact them immediately, Lieutenant!" BETA : "But Sir, I was not even able to tell you that we were not yet notified about any nebula..." PIKER : "Running ahead of events again, Captain?" RICARD : "I'm in a hurry!" A few moments later, admiral Eldrick appears on the viewscreen. ELDRICK : "Greetings, Captain. Forgive my administrators for their negligence, but since your vessel is far from Earth, there was no immediate need to send you a report on the nebula that has been detected in our solar system. Because of high levels of radiation around the nebula, I have strictly forbidden the presence of any ships near it. Since our most skilled engineers are already examining the nature of the nebula with long-range sensors on Earth, there is no need for any vessel to venture close to it. Everything is under control, so you can continue on your present course. [ending his transmission] Eldrick out." PIKER [perplexed] : "Well that was short and sweet..." TOY [disagreeing] : "If chocolate tasted this sweet, I would never touch it again..." RICARD : "I am more and more convinced that something strange is going on... Mr. Beta, change course. We're going home!" As the Lesserprize nears Earth's solar system, a purple, fuzzy-looking nebula comes within sight... RICARD [looking at the nebula on the viewscreen] : "A beautiful, yet somehow disturbing sight..." MORF : "Sir, I must remind you that admiral Eldrick has ordered us to stay away from the nebula." RICARD : "Yes, yes, I know, Mr. Morf... Can you get us close to the nebula without being detected, Mr. Beta?" BETA : "If we keep the nebula between us and Earth, we should be able to approach it safely, Sir." RICARD : "Very well, make it so. Let's keep our fingers crossed and hope that it works." BETA : "Yes, Sir." RICARD [nervous] : "Well, why aren't we moving?" BETA : "I am still looking for a way to operate the navigational console while keeping my fingers crossed, Sir." PIKER [smiling] : "You always have an excuse for doing nothing, haven't you, Beta?" BETA [looking at Piker, who is sitting in his chair with his arms crossed] : "Assuming that crossing one's arms is a similar excuse for doing nothing, it seems you truly are a source of inspiration, Sir." PIKER [quickly putting his hands on his knees] : "Er, my pleasure..." When Beta finally gets his fingers in place, the Lesserprize slowly moves towards the mysterious nebula... MORF : "Captain! Unknown vessel decloaking straight ahead!" Nearby the nebula, a ship emerges out of the blackness of space... LAGORGE [firmly putting that final screw into place] : "Wow! It looks like some kind of prototype StarForce vessel... It has three warp engines, while the Lesserprize only has two. And I'm not at all familiar with the design of the front part of the ship... It looks like a huge axe instead of a saucer. I wonder who built it..." RICARD : "Can you identify the ship, Mr. Beta?" Before Beta has the chance to find out, the mysterious craft shoots a perforating ray of energy at the Lesserprize's Saucer Section. BETA : "I cannot determine the identity of the ship, but maybe it is trying to burn its initials into us, Sir." PIKER : "Damn! I'm not in the mood for having a tattoo! Shields, thumbs and morale up! Blood-red alert!" LAGORGE [frustrated by the sight of some screws coming loose again] : "Yeah, great! I can start all over again!" MORF : "Captain, a shuttle has emerged out of the nebula...! Sensors are picking up energy transfers from the shuttle to the enemy ship... Someone is beaming over!" Completely confused, the crew on the Bridge witness how the hostile vessel shoots the shuttlecraft, but then once again concentrates all of its fire power on the Lesserprize... MORF : "The shields have no effect, Sir! We'll be sliced to pieces!" RICARD : "Evasive manoeuvres, Mr. Morf!" MORF : "Those dishonourable engines are not responding, Captain!" LAGORGE : "The ship's main reactor is off-line, Sir! We're going nowhere!" RICARD : "Jordi, if the Saucer Section would be separated from the Lesserprize, would the secondary reactor be able to generate enough energy to power the Warp Drive Section?" LAGORGE : "Positive, Captain!" RICARD : "Then make it so!" TOY : "How did you get this idea so quickly, Captain?" RICARD : "I don't really know, but I almost didn't have to think about it... I have the sensation that it's all predestined to happen. [anxiously watching Piker] Well, Number One?" PIKER : "What?" [obviously, if there's one person in the universe who would be too lazy to do even those things he's predestined to do, it's gonna be Piker] RICARD : "Give the order to evacuate!" PIKER : "Er, I was just about to. [raising his voice] Everyone to the Warp Drive Section! I'll go first!" But by the time Piker and the others leave the Bridge, a number of other personnel have already preceded them. Running through the corridors to a nearby turbolift, Piker stumbles and falls over a pair of feet sticking out through an open door (well it would be a bit weird if the door was closed, wouldn't it?). Piker stands up, turns round, angrily kicks the ankle of whoever it is who dares to lie in his way and then proceeds towards the turbolift. (And what if that person is some poor guy who fell unconscious in his attempt to get to safety? Well, Piker just hasn't got the time to show much consideration right now - he usually never has.) Once everyone has safely reached the Control Room on the Warp Drive Section, Ricard gives the order for a Saucer separation. RICARD : "The idea of sacrificing the Saucer Section doesn't exactly appeal to me, but it's the only way to avoid the complete destruction of the Lesserprize... Mr. Beta, release the Saucer!" BETA : "Aye, Sir." Just when the IFSO (Identified Flying Saucer Object, naturally) is separated from the Warp Drive Section, it bursts into billions of exploding parts as it is struck by another lethal ray of energy from the unkown ship... RICARD : "Fire photon torpedoes and phasers at the enemy ship!" MORF [grinding his old and new teeth from impatience] : "Aye, Sir!" BETA [trying to look at the viewscreen in disbelief] : "Our weapons do not seem able to penetrate the shields of the attacking vessel, Sir." MORF [growling in anger] : "Grrr, I'll put my teeth into their shields and bite them to pieces!" RICARD : "I fear that would give you a serious toothache, Mr. Morf... As we don't seem to be a match for our adversary, it is best to bring what is left of this ship to safety. Get us out of here, Mr. Beta!" MORF : "Sir, wait! The enemy is turning his back on us!" Unexpectedly, the hostile vessel spins round, powering up its engines and going into warp as it disappears into the void of space... MORF : "Those cowards are running away! We must pursue them!" RICARD : "Negative, Mr. Morf. I don't know the meaning of all this, but we are lucky to be still alive, so let's keep it that way." BETA : "Sir, just before the unknown ship disappeared out of sensor range, I registered the presence of a wormhole... It seems the ship entered it." RICARD : "I wasn't aware of a stable wormhole near Earth? And if it was an unstable one, how could that ship have known of its existence? Unless flying into it was a coincidence, which I find hard to believe..." MORF : "Captain, we are being hailed. It is... admiral Eldrick." PIKER : "He must have detected our fight with the other ship... What are we going to do now, Captain?" RICARD : "We have no choice... [sighing] On screen, Mr. Beta." ELDRICK : "What are you doing here? Our sensors picked up an energy build-up, which betrayed your presence. You have disobeyed my orders and put your ship at risk!" RICARD : "With all due respect, Admiral, the danger doesn't come from the nebula, but from an unidentified StarForce vessel! Now I demand to know what is going on!" ELDRICK : "As the Head of StarForce Command, I do not need to explain my actions to you, Ricard. All you have to know is that I will court- martial you and severely sanction all your senior officers for their lack of discipline... unless you resign from StarForce." Shocked by Eldrick's merciless attitude, Ricard thinks about his options... RICARD : "As my officers were only following my orders, I will take full responsibility. [regretfully pulling off his badge] I won't be needing this anymore..." BETA [expectantly watching the badge in Ricard's hand] : "Sir? Can I have that?" RICARD : "What for, Mr. Beta?" BETA : "I collect things, Sir. A common hobby of humans that I try to emulate." PIKER : "This is not the time for expanding your collection, Beta. If you want to be more human, try to look sad [giving Ricard a supportive tap on the shoulder], as our captain has just resigned." While the other officers on the Bridge are genuinly saddened, Beta pulls a silly-looking sad face, a bit like a clown would. ELDRICK : "A wise decision, Ricard. Mr. Piker, you are now in command of what remains of the Lesserprize. I trust that your first order will be to set course for your original destination?" PIKER [a bit disoriented by his sudden promotion] : "Er, ...of course, Admiral. Rica- I mean, Piker out. Yeah, I'm Piker... and I'm out... Er, goodbye." ELDRICK : "Hmpf..." PIKER [embarrassed] : "Er... screen off, or something. [without moving his face] (Beta! Break off communications! I look ridiculous!)" BETA : "You need not worry, Sir. You look the same as always. Nevertheless, communications have now been terminated." PIKER [whispering to Ricard] : "(Damn! I'm not ready for this! I only feel like half a captain!)" RICARD : "(Then you got your promotion at just the right moment, as this is only half a ship. Although you might have felt more confident to be in command of the other half.)" PIKER : "(The Saucer Section? But that's been destroyed?)" RICARD : "(Exactly.)" LAGORGE : "What I don't understand is why admiral Eldrick waited this long to contact us... I'm sure he already detected our presence after the first blast, when we were still inside the Saucer Section." TOY : "I sensed that he was actually very surprised and uncomfortable to see us, as if he expected the Lesserprize to be destroyed completely." PIKER : "You could sense his feelings, from such a distance?" TOY : "Yeah, it's from eating all that chocolate ; it enhances my psychic abilities." PIKER : "Then I sincerely hope you will no longer smear that stuff all over the captain's chair, as I wouldn't want a piece of furniture to know my innermost feelings." MORF : "Do you have any idea of what is going on, Capt-..., er, Mr. Ricard?" RICARD : "I'm sorry, Mr. Morf, but I don't have all the answers." Right on cue, someone dressed in an old-fashioned schoolteacher's outfit appears in a flash of light... CUE : "Naturally you don't, but I do!" RICARD [upset] : "What are you doing on my..., on this vessel?!" CUE : "Oh, that's right, you're no longer captain, are you? How sad! I'm sure dear Piker here will do a much better job!" RICARD : "Don't count on it! As StarForce officers, all of us refuse to be manipulated by arrogant, self-indulgent beings like yourself!" CUE [tapping Ricard on his bald cranium with a long teacher's stick] : "Now, now! Behave, or I will put you in the corner like a bad pupil!" BETA : "This Control Room is completely round and as such does not have any corners." CUE [amused] : "Ha! Pinoccio here tries to be human, but already possesses more wit than you could ever hope to have, Ricard!" PIKER [annoyed] : "What are you here for, Cue?" CUE : "We, the Cue, graciously offer our help! [changing the viewscreen into a blackboard, upon which a crude drawing in chalk of a cloud magically appears] I can tell you the origin and the meaning of the Nebula, [pointing with his stick to a drawing of a starship that has just appeared on the blackboard] I can also tell you where that ship came from and why it attacked you. And I am also the only one who can help you to avoid the fate that awaits your pathetic Federation." PIKER : "I guess you know what will happen?" CUE : "Oh yes, I know precisely what the future holds for your race. And frankly, it's so terribly disappointing, although very predictable. But since I esteem you to be a quite intriguing species, [smiling arrogantly] I grant you a second chance! I can change what has happened to this ship, among other things... What do you say, Piker?" PIKER [still uneasy in his new position as captain] : "Er, whatever Ricard says, I will support it 100%." CUE : "Oh, isn't that touching? Such loyalty to his former captain! Alright, let us hear those wise words, Ricard." When Ricard tries to talk, he suddenly notices that he has Piker's voice... and his body as well, actually. RICARD : "What's the meaning of this?!" CUE : "You can speak, but I still want to hear it in Piker's voice, you see. Now what is your response to my proposal?" RICARD : "Why should we trust you? For all I know, you could be the one who created that nebula." CUE : "For all you know... and that's not much, is it?" RICARD : "What I do know is that we don't want your charity! We will solve this mystery our way! Now get off this ship!" CUE [disappointed] : "And I suppose you share that view, Piker?" PIKER [accidentally striking his (actually Ricard's) nose when trying to scratch his eyebrow] : "Er, yeah... (I'm not used to having such a big nose...)" CUE : "So, is that how you show your gratitude? Fine, but don't blame me when everything goes horribly wrong! I could solve everything myself by simply snapping my fingers, but I will allow you to make a mess of things, so you can "grow as a species", as you are so fond of saying. [suddenly wearing a Mexican sombrero] Adios, amigos!" As Cue disappears from the Control Room, Piker and Ricard are happy to be back inside their own bodies. But Cue isn't the only one who does a disappearing act. Quickly changing colour from a certain shade of purple to a very bright white, the Nebula slowly vanishes... MORF : "Sir, the nebula... It is gone!" RICARD : "Then there is nothing left to investigate... Well, my friends, it was an honour commanding a fine ship with a fine crew, but it is time for me to leave you now. I will go and live on Earth, in the hope that one day all of this will have some meaning. I am certain that your new captain will carry out his duties with authority, discipline and a huge sense of responsibility." PIKER : "Er, of course..." [Piker's bulging eyes look round in despair, when they notice a black curtain coming down - in other words, he fainted] TOY : "Seems like that huge sense of responsibility got the better of him..." BETA : "I will take over as acting captain for now." RICARD : "Don't ask me why, but I find that very reassuring, Mr. Beta." And so it came to be that Ricard, the once proud captain of the Lesserprize, left StarForce in search of a more quiet and fair life on Earth, where he married captain Myway with which he had a son and many arguments about the correct behaviour of a captain (which has entirely nothing to do with this story in any way, but it makes the end of this page approach more rapidly). Nevertheless, even twelve years after the incident, his frustration - fuelled by the reappearance of the Nebula - is as big as ever... RICARD [standing in the doorway, looking into the sky] : "(If only I still had my own ship, then I could study the Nebula myself... But hopefully my wife will soon discover the truth.)" A few minutes later, Myway rejoins her husband. MYWAY : "Hello, dear. Good news! The Tourist's current assignment has just ended and our next mission only starts in three days' time, so we have another opportunity to examine the Nebula more closely. I feel confident that we will have some results this time." RICARD : "That would be grand, my love. This might be your last chance, as we don't know if the Nebula won't suddenly disappear again." MYWAY : "Let's hope we still have time... How is Henry?" RICARD : "Oh, he's a bit quiet lately. The weather must be affecting him." MYWAY : "I have an idea. Why don't I take him with me for this time? He's never visited a starship before. Besides, his presence might bring us luck." RICARD : "Splendid. Make it so!" MYWAY [joking] : "Aye, Captain!" Shortly after Myway has left with her son, someone rings the doorbell. RICARD : "(I wonder who that could be?) [opening the door] Bill!" PIKER : "Hello, Sir! I was in the neighbourhood anyway, so I decided to see how you are doing, like a good old friend." RICARD [mumbling to himself] : "(Or like a bug you can't get rid of...) So, aren't you in command of your own starship yet?" PIKER : "Nah, too much responsibility." RICARD : "Especially since you managed to crash the remaining part of the Lesserprize into an asteroid belt..." PIKER : "Er, well, in another attempt to be more human, Beta decided to fly on instinct rather than by following the sensors' indications, but it didn't work too well..." RICARD [doubtful] : "Hmmm..." Aboard the Tourist, Myway takes her son for a tour of the ship, when someone talks through her communicator badge... well, well, if it isn't ensign Yun - actually, it isn't ; it's "lieutenant Yun" now... YUN : "Captain, we are ready to begin further testing on the Nebula." MYWAY : "I'll be on the Bridge right away." Entering the Bridge with Henry, Myway orders her Volcan first officer Tuvog to take precautions against being detected by StarForce. When the Tourist reaches the Nebula, Yun starts her experiment. After a few minutes, it looks as if Henry's presence has indeed brought them luck... YUN [excited] : "Captain! I think I've got it!" MYWAY [intrigued] : "What is it, Lieutenant?" YUN : "Now I know why we couldn't detect anything! The entire Nebula is contained within a field of particles that rotate in the opposite direction of normal energy particles!" MYWAY : "And what does that mean?" YUN : "While the Nebula seems to advance in time like we do, it is in fact going backwards in time!" MYWAY [whispering from surprise] : "Going back in time? But how is that possible?" YUN : "I have no idea, Captain, but when we thought it appeared, it actually disappeared into the past." MYWAY [talking forcefully again] : "So when the Lesserprize was destroyed, it didn't appear for the first time, but for the last time... And it seems to phase in and out of our space-time continuum as well." YUN : "It would seem that way, Captain. It's possible that inside the Nebula, no time at all passed between now and twelve years ago... Captain, I was wondering... We could travel back to the moment before the Lesserprize gets fired upon and prevent its destruction!" TUVOG [typically stoical] : "To undertake such a mission would be meaningless. Events that lie in the past cannot be altered. Logic dictates that the destruction of the Lesserprize's Saucer Section would prove to be predetermined." YUN : "To hell with logic! We must seize this unique opportunity to save that ship!" TUVOG : "The laws of physics that govern space and time will not allow you to prevent those things that have already happened. If you would go back into the past, you would not be able to change anything." YUN [frustrated] : "I can't believe we are just going to sit here and do nothing!" MYWAY : "Calm down, Lieutenant!" YUN : "How can I calm down when I am supposed to accept that every event that takes place is predetermined? What does that mean for our freedom of action? [accidentally depressing a button while angrily slamming down her hands on her console] I find the very idea revolting!" MYWAY : "I understand how you feel, Lieutenant, but I tend to agree with my first officer ; there is nothing we can do, so -" TUVOG : "Captain, our cloaking device has been deactivated." YUN [lifting her hand from the button that is as depressed as she herself is] : "Oh no! I pushed the manual override button!" TUVOG : "Another ship is obviously playing hide & seek with us, as it has followed our example and decloaked also." MYWAY : "On screen!" YUN [recognizing the ship] : "It's the vessel that destroyed the Lesserprize!" Without warning, the ship fires a destructive beam of energy at the Tourist, which seems to undergo the same fate as the Lesserprize... MYWAY [shaking in her chair] : "Report, Mr. Too-Vogue!" TUVOG : "The name is "Tuvog", Captain." MYWAY : "That's what I said, Mr. Too-Vogue. So what's to report?" TUVOG : "We are being attacked by an unknown type of StarForce vessel, Captain." MYWAY : "That's too vague, Too-Vogue!" When another devastating blast strikes the Tourist, Myway gives the order to evacuate... MYWAY [worriedly whispering while looking around] : "Henry?... Where is my son?" As the crew on the Bridge are heading for the opening turbolift, Henry - who has been standing in front of the lift the whole time - decides to get out of the way by stepping into it... YUN [feeling guilty] : "(This is all my fault... I have to do something!)" When Yun arrives at Shuttle Bay 2, she quickly gets into a still unoccupied shuttle and shuts the doors to prevent others from joining her. When her shuttle takes off and leaves the exploding Tourist, she flies it into a different direction than the other escaping shuttles... YUN : "(I'm very fortunate to have found an empty shuttle...)" VOICE [from behind Yun] : "Hello?" In the meantime, back on Earth... PIKER [showing off, as usual] : "...Yeah, I'm highly respected by the entire crew! They all completely depend on me, of course! But how are you doing?" RICARD : "Now that I'm no longer with StarForce, I can finally indulge in some archaeological research, something I always wanted to do. And of course I've got a family now, so -" Suddenly, the doorbell rings again. RICARD [not used to having many visitors] : "My, I seem to be very popular today. One would almost think it's my birthday or something..." But maybe he's not all that popular... RICARD [seeing a young StarForce officer standing at his doorstep] : "Yes, what can I do for y-" OFFICER : "I am ensign Borman. Admiral Eldrick sent me to tell you that he has found out about the secretive activities of your wife." RICARD [now realizing that this is certainly not his birthday] : "Er... I see. I suppose we will be court-martialled?" BORMAN : "No. I have come to deliver you his terms." RICARD : "His terms? Is he willing to let the matter rest once more? Maybe now he also wants my wife to resign from StarForce?" BORMAN : "Actually, he's willing to let YOU rest. He wants you both to resign... from this existence. [suddenly drawing his phaser] Those are his terms." RICARD [shocked] : "Er... can't we talk about this?" Apparently not, since Borman points his phaser straight at Ricard... Yet, inexplicably, although both men feel the intensity of the moment, there is another sensation that makes them tremble. Ricard notices a kind of familiar look in Borman's eyes, making him feel even more uneasy, while Borman himself seems to fight his own desire to shoot his adversary. The tension is broken when someone jumps out of the house from behind Ricard... PIKER [firing at Borman] : "Take this!" Surprised by Piker's unexpected heroism, Ricard doesn't notice at first that Borman, who is thrown back by the blast, quickly stands up again, completely unharmed by the low setting on Piker's weapon. PIKER : "What the hell...? Alright, if that's what it takes... [choosing a higher setting on his phaser] You won't get up after this one!" And indeed, Borman doesn't get up... but that's only because this time, he didn't even fall down... PIKER [adjusting his phaser] : "This is almost the highest setting... it's all over, pal!" Piker's words prove to be wishful thinking once again, as Borman stumbles to his knees, but refuses to bow down. Now he's the one who aims his phaser at Piker, who manages to avoid a lethal blast, but receives the deadly beam into his right shoulder... PIKER [dropping his weapon from pain] : "Ouch! Please don't kill me! I'm a really great guy once you get to know me!" Ricard, realizing that Borman - like most people - would rather kill Piker than get to know him, quickly jumps towards Piker's phaser, grabs it and fires at Borman repeatedly, until the young man finally drops to the ground, lifeless... PIKER : "Phew! That was close... Thanks, Sir. [noticing a sad expression on Ricard's face] What's wrong? You look as if you've never shot anyone before?" RICARD : "I was forced to kill a few times in my life, but this is different somehow..." PIKER : "Yeah, I know what you mean. That guy seemed to be invincible." RICARD : "That's not it... He shouldn't have died. It's almost as if I knew him..." PIKER [feeling his shoulder] : "I'm going back inside to treat my wound. If anyone else tries to kill you, just give me a call." RICARD : "Make yourself at home... (I wish I knew what is going on...)" Ricard has hardly finished his sentence, when someone dressed as an undertaker appears in a bright flash... CUE : "Cue-hoo! Remember me?" RICARD [startled] : "What the...?! Cue!" CUE : "I'm glad to hear that you haven't yet become too senile to recognize me." RICARD : "I don't need your help, Cue. I'm already in enough trouble without having to deal with you!" CUE : "I hate to say it, but... I told you so." RICARD : "Be gone, Cue!" CUE : "That's what you said 12 years ago, and now look at the state you're in! If only you had allowed me to save your precious vessel, you would appreciate me a bit more!" RICARD : "I'm sorry if you don't understand, Cue, but we humans must live our own lives and come to terms with our problems, without continuously requesting the aid of some almighty beings. If we did that, we would become weak and never evolve." CUE : "Ha! Don't make me laugh! You humans are so pathetic! If this planet were being invaded by aliens, you wouldn't even realize it if they kicked you in the butt!" RICARD : "The only alien I see here is you, Cue!" CUE : "Oh, come now, John-Luke! I'm probably your best friend in the whole universe! Who else would tell you about this invasion, hmmm?" RICARD : "I thought that was just a hypothetical supposition?" CUE : "Well obviously, you seem to be much better at dealing with hypothetical events than with real situations, judging from the fact that you can't even smell an alien corpse when it's lying right under that big nose of yours." RICARD : "What? You mean... [looking at Borman's body in disbelief] But that's absurd! Someone would have noticed, surely?" CUE [suddenly wearing a Sherlock Holmes-like outfit and looking at Borman's head through a magnifying glass] : "If you inspect his brain, you'll notice that it has in fact been altered with an alien organism that has been implanted into this poor chap's body." As if to confirm what Cue says, a decidedly alien and rather slimey, dark blue substance starts to leak out of Borman's ears... RICARD [covering his nose against the stench from the substance] : "Euurrgh!" CUE : "Absolutely. Makes human beings look even more distasteful than they already are." RICARD : "I suppose you are going to tell me more about this invasion business?" CUE : "Only that almost all of StarForce Command has already been body- snatched." RICARD : "What can be done?" CUE : "Hoho! First you refuse my help, but now you want me to advise you? Well don't worry, you will know what to do when the time comes..." Aboard one of the shuttles abandoning the wreckage that is left of the Tourist, captain Myway and Tuvog are trying to figure out which shuttle Henry could be on... TUVOG : "I have received reports from nearly all shuttles, but your son is not on any of them. However, there is one shuttle left which refuses to respond. Sensors indicate the presence of two people aboard. As only lieutenant Yun and your son are unaccounted for, it is logical to assume that they are on that shuttle." MYWAY [raising her voice, hopeful] : "Hail them again!" TUVOG : "I am afraid that will not be possible, Captain... They have just entered the Nebula." MYWAY [whispering in despair] : "Oh no..." Inside the Nebula, Yun discovers she has an unexpected companion... YUN : "Henry! How did you get here?!" HENRY : "I got aboard and hid behind the chair out of fear..." YUN [sighing] : "Great! Now I have to be a baby-sitter..." Looking outside, Yun vaguely notices a huge, dark silhouette deep within the Nebula... YUN : "What could that be? Because of the high radiation within this nebula, sensors can't pick up anything. Let's take a closer look then." The shuttle gets deeper into the Nebula, when suddenly a beam of non- destructive energy seems to scan the little craft... YUN : "Hey, what's happening?! Ooh, my head..." Following the scan, both passengers black out. As always, Yun brought her small toy-robot with her. As if it knows what happened to Yun, it starts to hum a recomforting tune. Then, Yun warily opens her eyes and mechanically starts to push some buttons on the onboard computer, which verbally responds... COMPUTER [with a typically boring, monotonous voice] : "Automatic pilot engaged." After that, Yun can't keep her eyes open and loses consciousness again... The enemy StarForce vessel sucks up a ray of yellow-red energy from a defenceless Tourist, which begins to swallow hundreds of small shuttles flying backwards into it ; destroyed parts are glued back together as if by magic ; the officers on board run backwards to their stations without bumping into the walls, as if they had eyes on the back of their heads ; their memories of what lies ahead break apart... This is what Yun and Henry might have witnessed if they had been awake, but 23 hours after they entered the Nebula, when everything around them becomes bright white for a few moments, they are still unconscious... They could also have seen how the Lesserprize gets back into one piece, but more time passes. Eventually, Yun awakens. YUN [talking with difficulty] : "W-Where... am I?" VOICE : "Try to relax... You're still very weak. I am a doctor. Everything will be alright. Can you tell me who you are?" YUN [with panic in her eyes] : "I... I don't know...!" DOCTOR : "You must be suffering from amnesia. Probably from the shock. You were lucky to be alive when we found you aboard that crashed shuttle." YUN : "Sh... shuttle?" DOCTOR : "I suppose you don't remember that either? We don't know where it came from. The onboard chronometer was malfunctioning, since it displayed a date situated about 17 years into the future... There was a young boy with you. He's in the same condition as you are, also with memory loss." In a room nearby... VOICE #1 : "So this is the young patient... I wonder how he will respond to the treatment?" VOICE #2 : "He lost his memories, which should make him an ideal test subject, Admiral." ADMIRAL : "Soon we will know if it works on young individuals..." In the following years, Yun manages to take her life - and that of Henry - into her own hands again. She rejoins StarForce and finds that although she can't discover her true identity, she hasn't forgotten any of her skills. Soon, she works her way up into the higher ranks of StarForce, under a new name... As Ricard sees a shuttlecraft from the Tourist nearing his house on Earth, Cue decides to politely disappear... RICARD [seeing his wife stepping out of the shuttle] : "Jane!" MYWAY [running towards her husband] : "John-Luke! Our ship was destroyed! It was that unidentified StarForce vessel again!" RICARD : "I hope nothing happened to Henry? Where is he?" MYWAY [reluctant] : "He... is on a shuttle... inside the Nebula..." RICARD [baffled] : "What... how...? Can't you get him out of there?" TUVOG : "It would be unwise to enter the Nebula, as we would have little chance to find the shuttle, considering the radiation interfering with our sensors. Besides, the Nebula is travelling backwards in time." RICARD [totally confused] : "But... There must be something we can do?!" MYWAY [trying to calm Ricard down] : "Let's go inside and look at our options." RICARD : "Actually, we have a guest... Commander Piker came by for a visit and disposed of a StarForce officer that tried to kill me..." MYWAY : "What?!" RICARD : "And that's not all. It appears that StarForce Command is being taken over by a hostile alien race. [pointing to ensign Borman's dead body] He was one of them." MYWAY : "So that's what's going on... Alright, we have to make some plans. We must hurry." RICARD : "Er, if you don't mind, I would like to be alone for a few moments. You can go inside, I'll join you shortly." MYWAY : "I understand... Come, Too-Vogue." TUVOG [sighing] : "Yes, Captain." RICARD : "(It's against my better judgement, but there's only one person who can clear up all of this...) Cue, are you there?" CUE [appearing in an admiral's uniform] : "I'm everywhere! Sorry for the outfit, but the admirals in StarForce Command aren't any more worthy of such a uniform than I am, so let's join the charade!" RICARD : "I'm not interested in your tricks, Cue! Just tell me what happened to my son!" CUE : "Raising your voice like that, you're lucky I don't court-martial you! But since I'm in a generous mood, I will give you the answers you seek. Remember lieutenant Yun?" RICARD : "What does she have to do with this?" CUE : "Everything! She's the one who piloted that shuttle with your son aboard into the Nebula. She was naïve enough to believe that she could alter the course of history, not realizing that a human being cannot change the past... not as easily as I could, anyway." RICARD : "So, what happened?" CUE : "Something went wrong! It had to. She wanted to travel back in time to the moment before the Lesserprize came under attack, to avoid its destruction by warning you, but she went back much further than she intended. She had to wait five years until, twelve years ago, she tried to contact you, but destiny prevented that from happening..." RICARD : "You mean...? Of course! She's... admiral Brynn! Her message broke off. So her attempt failed?" CUE [reluctant] : "Yes... sort of. There is still a possibility for the past to change, but if it does happen, it will be thanks to the Cue Coincidence! Because of our admiration for lieutenant Yun's determination to change the past, we decided to assist her in her efforts by creating a small time-loop. It starts a few hours before the destruction of the Lesserprize and ends a few minutes after. At the end of each loop, the future can either become insignificantly different or change radically." RICARD : "Then it's all down to luck?" CUE : "Not quite. In a time-loop, the consciousness is being ping-ponged back and forth, which humans experience as a feeling known as "déjà vu", one of those rare instances where something of this universe's true nature seems to penetrate the blunt human perception of reality. Only when this feeling is intense enough can the will of a strong-minded individual cause that person to perform a different action, thus making a small but decisive change in the course of events." RICARD : "Then there is still hope... Yun always hated to be predictable. She enjoyed challenging the predetermined nature of things." CUE : "Then she is facing the challenge of a life-time... of several life- times, to be precise." RICARD : "Now I know what happened to lieutenant Yun, but what about my son?" CUE : "Your son Henry also joined StarForce, although he was never as promising as Brynn... [with a grave expression on his face] He became a bit of an errand-boy for admiral Eldrick, which could only end in disaster..." RICARD [worried] : "Please, tell me, has something happened to him?" CUE : "Very recently. But at least you still had the chance to see him... [looking at the dead body] I'm sorry, Ricard." RICARD [petrified] : "Oh no... Don't tell me it's... [running towards ensign Borman's body and falling on his knees in tears] NOOOOO!!! I... killed my own son!!" CUE : "Face it, Ricard, this time-line is a hopeless mess. You and your wife have both lost a starship, as well as a son. And soon, you will be hunted down by corrupt members of StarForce. The future doesn't look too bright, either, as the increasing negative influence of the Nebula will make the sun go supernova, destroying all life on Earth." RICARD : "Leave me alone, Cue! I don't care about my future anymore..." CUE : "Well maybe you want to rot away like a useless sack of old bones, but I can tell you this much, Ricard : your destiny lies in the past." RICARD : "Oh, so now you expect ME to mess with the past and risk making things even worse?" CUE [grinning] : "You can never mess enough with it, as far as I'm concerned. Besides, taking risks has always been part of your job. Where is your sense of adventure? "To boldly go where no other imbecil has gone before" and all that nonsense, remember? Or have you really become th t old?" RICARD [frustrated] : "Fine, dammit! Just tell me what to do!" CUE : "I think someone else will do that..." Cue makes himself disappear again, just as Myway and the others come out of the house. MYWAY [whispering enthusiastically] : "John-Luke! We have an idea... Since the Nebula travels backwards in time, Yun and Henry are not yet inside of it at this moment. This means that if we enter it now, we might prevent them from going in!" RICARD : "If we go in, we probably won't be coming back..." MYWAY : "You don't seem very enthusiastic?" RICARD : "Oh what does it matter anyway. Let's go." PIKER : "Hey, I wanna come too! It's been a long time since I had some excitement." MYWAY : "You're most welcome to join us, Commander! But first, I want our holo-doc to study this alien substance." PIKER : "So this guy is an alien?" RICARD [deciding to keep Borman's true identity secret] : "Er... yes." A few moments after Myway has contacted her Holographic Emergency Medical Program (affectionately called H.E.M.P. by his friends), the holo-doc beams down at the tragic scene... HOLO-DOC [immediately investigating Borman] : "Either he was a genuine airhead, or this blue, organic slime is all that is left of his brain." PIKER [almost throwing up] : "Buaaak!!... Sorry, I have a sensitive stomach..." HOLO-DOC [scanning Piker's stomach] : "Then you should stop eating all those greasy hamburgers." MYWAY : "H.E.M.P., could you examine all of us, just to make sure none of us has been implanted with any alien organisms?" HOLO-DOC : "Of course, Captain. I will start with commander Piker." PIKER : "There's nothing to investigate inside of MY skull!" HOLO-DOC : "Although I tend to agree with that quite adequate description of the contents of your head, I still have to do my job." PIKER [offended] : "Would you have the nerve to call me brainless?!" HOLO-DOC [scanning Piker's brain] : "Not at all. According to my scans, you indeed seem to have a brain, although in your case, I fail to see the point of having one. Besides, my bedside manners dictate that I have to show consideration for my patients, so I will simply call you IQ-less... [reading the results on his medical tricorder] Congratulations. No alien organisms have decided to merge with your brain - and I can't say I blame them." When H.E.M.P. has finished examining the others, they all get aboard Myway's shuttle and fly into the Nebula... MYWAY : "Alright, when we get to the moment when lieutenant Yun entered the Nebula, we leave the Nebula and stop her." TUVOG [sceptic] : "I still do not think we will succeed in changing the past, Captain." MYWAY : "Think positive, Too-Vogue!" TUVOG : "I think logically, Captain, which is always positive." RICARD [knowingly] : "Once my wife has set her mind to something, there's no way of talking her out of it." MYWAY [stubborn] : "Will you stop it, both of you!" PIKER [looking outside] : "I wonder what that blackness inside of the Nebula could be..." MYWAY : "Indeed intriguing. Too-Vogue, take us a bit closer..." RICARD : "I have a bad feeling about this..." Ricard's pessimism seems to be justified, as a scanning ray out of the deep of the Nebula makes them fall unconscious... MYWAY [slowly coming to her senses] : "Oooh... What happened?" HOLO-DOC : "Do you recognize me?" MYWAY : "What a dumb question! Of course I do... you're H.E.M.P., aren't you?" HOLO-DOC : "It seems it worked, Mr. Tuvog." TUVOG : "A logical deduction." MYWAY [rubbing her eyes] : "What are you both talking about?" HOLO-DOC : "You were all hit by a beam of energy that made you lose consciousness. As always, I was the one who had to come to the rescue, although it was a bit late... My program was deactivated by the beam, but after 24 hours, my back-up systems activated me again. When I woke you up for the first time, you all suffered complete amnesia, except for Mr. Tuvog, whose Volcan brain seems to be unaffected. He remembered that your memories were stored into my medical tricorder when I checked your brains for alien organisms. Under his supervision, I put you to sleep again and reinserted those memories." MYWAY : "We're inside the Nebula... I remember having the idea to enter it... [with a sudden awareness] How long have we been unconscious?! We have to intercept lieutenant Yun's shuttle!..." TUVOG : "I am afraid we passed out for too long, Captain. While we remain inside the Nebula, we have a chance to find the shuttle, but our time is limited. We have already travelled twelve years back, while we are now nearing the moment when the Nebula will phase in and out of our time-continuum again, taking us further into the past." MYWAY : "If we can't find that shuttle, we will have gone through all this trouble for nothing... unless we can do what lieutenant Yun planned to do all along : stop the Lesserprize from being destroyed..." TUVOG : "I will try to calculate the moment when we have to leave the Nebula in order to achieve this, but I cannot guarantee that my timing will be 100% accurate." MYWAY : "Don't worry, I'm already content with 99.99% accuracy, Mr. Too-Vogue." TUVOG : "That is most generous, Captain." Slowly, the others regain consciousness... MYWAY [testing Ricard's memory] : "Do you remember that fight we had, about that gorgeous ring you bought me and that I liked so much?" RICARD [feeling the storm approaching] : "Er, yes..." MYWAY : "And do you remember what happened to it?" RICARD [in the eye of the storm] : "As you are well aware, Jane, it... vanished. I had no idea how it got lost then and I still don't know! Satisfied?" MYWAY : "You have no idea? Well I DO! You hid it inside your private drawer, in that little orange box of yours!" RICARD [embarrassed] : "But...?! How do you know?" MYWAY : "I... remember, somehow..." HOLO-DOC [checking his tricorder] : "I thought so... those memories inside my tricorder have partially merged..." RICARD [apologetic] : "Well, I got fed up with hearing you make all that fuss about a stupid ring... And since I bought it, I had the right to put it away! [suddenly aware of something] But do you also remember where that shovel went, the one I used for my archaeological research?" MYWAY : "Er... didn't it fall in that cave you were investigating?" RICARD : "You threw it in there behind my back! You know how much I loved that shovel!" MYWAY : "And maybe I wanted you to love ME that much! Always away, digging up dirt instead of spending time with your family!" PIKER : "Sounds to me like you were getting bored of each other, considering that time when you both played with the idea of getting a divorce..." RICARD [furious] : "You stay out of this, or I will inform StarForce about all those times you pretended to be sick, while beaming off the ship and having a good time with some alien females! [suddenly laughing] Although I must admit, they usually exposed you for what you really are, hahahhah!" MYWAY [sharing the joke] : "Especially that girl on Risah, who could change her gender at will, hahhahah!" PIKER [frustrated] : "Grmbl..." HOLO-DOC : "Come now, children, stop bullying each other and pay attention." TUVOG : "As this shuttle cannot be cloaked to hide itself from detection, the unknown StarForce vessel would no doubt shoot us down as soon as we left the Nebula. Therefore, we will wait for the Lesserprize to arrive. Its presence could distract the enemy ship long enough for us to take action. Since it would be too late then to warn the Lesserprize for the danger that awaits, the only thing we can do is to quickly beam over to the enemy vessel and attempt to take control of it." RICARD [thinking to himself] : "(If only admiral Brynn's actions could change things this time...)" Despite her anxiety, Brynn sends a message to the Lesserprize and soon sees captain Ricard appearing on her screen... BRYNN : "Captain, I assume you have been informed about the nebula that has appeared near Earth?" RICARD [almost surprised] : "Actually, I -" BRYNN [nervously assuming that he has] : "When you go there to inspect, be warned that -" Brynn's conversation is ended abruptly when a beam of phaser fire violently destroys her communications console. When she turns round, she sees a young boy aiming his phaser at her... BRYNN : "Andrew! I warned you not to play with weapons! Put it down at once! [seeing that the boy refuses to obey] Alright then... As your superior officer, I command you : put down that phaser, Mr. Borman!" But Brynn's protégé seems to be in a trance and is certainly not in the mood to play, as he fires a warning shot, just missing Brynn's left ear. BRYNN : "Hey...?! What's gotten into you?!" An alien substance, actually, but Brynn is completely unaware of that fact and feels destiny tightening its grip on her. BORMAN : "You will follow me." Inside the Nebula, everyone on board Myway's shuttle is becoming more and more tense, especially Piker, who is trying to make himself comfortable with the idea of finally doing something useful. PIKER : "What's happening outside right now, Tuvog? Has the Lesserprize arrived?" TUVOG : "According to my calculations, the ship is now under attack, Commander." PIKER [forgetting they are going back in time] : "What?! And you wouldn't even have said anything! [jumping to the transporter and activating it] Come on, let's go!" TUVOG : "Please remain calm. It is not yet time." PIKER : "Like hell it isn't! If all of you are too lazy to act, then I will do it! Energize!" RICARD : "Wait! We're going backwards in time, remember?!" PIKER [indeed remembering - but slightly too late] : "Er, oh yeah that's true..." When Piker tries to step off the transporter, he's already dematerialized... MYWAY : "He's gone... He'll be alone on that hostile ship!" HOLO-DOC : "I don't think so... Since I have not yet entered the correct coordinates into the transporter, he'll end up at the currently programmed destination : the Bridge of the Lesserprize." TUVOG : "Or at least somewhere near it, as the Nebula interferes with the transporter. That is the reason why we must leave the Nebula before we can transport safely and accurately." Unaware that he is rematerializing on the Lesserprize, Piker finds himself in a dark place... PIKER : "Hey, who turned off the lights?! [feeling the walls] I seem to be in a small room... [suddenly hearing an alarm going off outside] Well at least now I know I'm on a StarForce vessel ; I'd recognize that sound anywhere... Ah, here's the door. If I hurry, I might still be able to make a difference..." Stepping out of a small cabinet and into a corridor, that rare initiative to do something useful is quickly knocked down by a horde of evacuating personnel. Having been thrown back into the cabinet, Piker feels how someone stumbles and falls over his feet sticking out of the door. When he also gets kicked in the ankles afterwards, he painfully remembers something... Yep, twelve years ago, Piker fell over his own feet. Nothing exceptional, then. Realizing that the only thing he can do now is to also evacuate the Saucer Section, the future Piker gets up and walks through the corridor, where he sees his former captain standing near the turbolift, waiting to be the last to leave. RICARD : "Number One? Didn't you already leave a few minutes ago? But what happened to you? You look much older suddenly." PIKER : "Er... Yeah, I returned to put on my aftershave. It gives me a more mature appearance." RICARD : "Now if only you could find something to make you behave more mature as well..." When Piker gets into the turbolift, he feels very uncertain about what to do next. But it looks like help is only a flash away... CUE [dressed as a bell-boy] : "Going down? It certainly seems your morale is!" PIKER [so demoralized he isn't even startled by Cue's appearance] : "Yeah, I wasn't able to do anything... And now I feel completely disoriented." CUE : "The story of your life, eh? Don't worry, you no longer have a place in this time-line anyway. But I have an offer to make : why don't you join us, for real, this time?" PIKER [suspicious] : "I thought I didn't qualify?" CUE : "That was just a test! And you passed it with flying colours! Most humans would have become a bit more humble after being rejected like that, but not you, which makes you a perfect candidate! You realize that this life is just like a game of chess, in which some are pawns and some are players. Do you want to remain a pawn for the rest of your existence? I think not. I can elevate you to a higher level of awareness and make you... a player, like myself!" PIKER : "Hey, this turbolift sure is taking its time to get to the Warp Drive Section..." CUE : "That's because we have a far more interesting destination... [as the doors glide open] Ah, we have arrived! Welcome... to our domain!" Aboard Myway's shuttle, preparations are being made to leave the Nebula and beam over to the mysterious StarForce vessel... TUVOG : "If my calculations are correct, the unidentified ship should be appearing now, so we must leave immediately." MYWAY : "Do it, Mr. Too-Vogue." Obviously, Tuvog's calculations are - as always - pretty accurate, as the enemy vessel has just fired its first blast at the Lesserprize when the small shuttlecraft leaves the Nebula. HOLO-DOC : "Scanning of the attacking vessel reveals an unoccupied area near what seems to be the main Bridge... Entering coordinates for transport now..." MYWAY : "Energize!" Just when the final molecules of Ricard's nose have dematerialized, the shuttle is blown out of this side of the universe by a destructive ray of energy... RICARD [remateralizing with his nose still alive and sniffing] : "Where are we?... Eurgh... and what's that stench?!" HOLO-DOC : "This appears to be a highly sophisticated waste-recycling facility..." MYWAY : "You beamed us to a lavatory!" HOLO-DOC : "That's what I said. Besides, if your stomach can't take the pressure of this mission, you already know where to go." MYWAY : "Since they didn't install any mirrors, there's no point in hanging around to fix my make-up, so let's get out of here." As they quietly sneak through a corridor, they soon arrive at the entrance of the Bridge... RICARD : "I will go in first... Mr. Tuvog, if you would be so kind to cover me?" TUVOG : "Ready." MYWAY : "Hey, I wanna fight too!" RICARD : "No offense, dear, but let us men handle this." MYWAY [upset] : "What?! I am captain of a StarForce vessel, so I'm well trained for combat!" RICARD [talking forcefully] : "I've been a captain much longer than you have been, so my expertise far exceeds yours!" Alarmed by the arguing voices outside, two security officers on the Bridge decide to inspect the situation... MYWAY [still arguing] : "... Besides, how long has it been since you were involved in battle?! [wildly swinging her arm as she accidentally knocks down one of the security officers who come through the door] After spending all your time playing with fossils, you've become a bit fossilized yourself!" RICARD [offended] : "It's not because I'm a bit rusty that I don't know how to hold a phaser anymore! [accidentally shooting down the other security officer] But if you're so eager to prove yourself, be my guest!" When the stubborn couple decide to focus their anger on the enemy crew instead of on each other, they are surprised to find an almost defenceless Bridge... MYWAY [pointing her phaser at the enemy captain] : "You! Give the order to cease fire!" And so he does - adding something in some alien language as well... RICARD : "What did he say?" MYWAY : "Speak up! What did you just say?!" CAPTAIN : "Oh, I was just cursing out of frustration..." But it seems to have been something more than that, as the ship abruptly turns round all of a sudden and goes into warp. MYWAY : "Hey?!... I didn't tell you to take the ship into warp! Make it stop!" CAPTAIN [with a smug grin] : "Too late..." Then, all of the enemy crew suddenly lose consciousness... MYWAY : "What the...? H.E.M.P., what's going on with them?" HOLO-DOC [using his medical tricorder] : "This is curious... They're all dead, Captain." MYWAY : "Dead?!" RICARD [noticing something sticky coming out of the dead captain's ear] : "Well, where have we seen that before..." HOLO-DOC : "In front of your doorstep on Earth, I believe... It appears the alien brain is able to commit suicide at will. Efficient way to clean out one's ears..." MYWAY : "Too bad about the smell, though... [taking a spray-can out of... er, somewhere] Here, I'll drive it away with my perfume..." RICARD : "Don't use too much, darling, or you'll drive me away along with it." MYWAY : "Maybe you never liked it, but it's still my favourite... There, that's better, isn't it?" RICARD : "Er, let's just say it's... different." MYWAY : "Well, we can argue about it another time. Come on, we have to take command of this ship. Too-Vogue, try to figure out the controls." RICARD [looking at the viewscreen] : "What's that? It looks like we're in the middle of a space-distortion of some kind..." TUVOG : "These controls are technically very advanced, but if I am interpreting these readings correctly, then the ship itself is creating the distortion." MYWAY : "How is that possible?" TUVOG : "The three warp nacelles are rotating around the longitudinal axis of the ship, somehow twisting space as well as warping it." RICARD : "Wait a minute! Now I remember! Twelve years ago, when I was on the Lesserprize, I saw what is now happening : this vessel went into warp and disappeared into a wormhole... My goodness, this ship can make artificial wormholes!" MYWAY : "That's impossible! StarForce doesn't possess such technology!" TUVOG : "The reality of the situation suggests otherwise, Captain." RICARD : "The aliens must have managed to secretly combine their technology with ours." MYWAY : "Indeed, but now we need to know where this ship is taking us..." HOLO-DOC : "The crew won't be telling us... They preferred to die, rather than betray what they were planning." TUVOG : "Which suggests that we are being led into a trap. I almost figured out how to interpret these readings... Captain, our destination is a black hole, 2 billion light-years from our current position." MYWAY [astonished] : "They're willing to sacrifice this ship, rather than letting it fall into enemy hands..." HOLO-DOC [optimistic] : "If the black hole is that far away, we should have enough time to change course, so that's no problem." TUVOG : "I must disagree, Doctor. This wormhole serves as a shortcut between two points in space, which means we will reach the black hole very soon. I must find a way to stop the rotation of the warp nacelles..." RICARD : "Can't we cut off all power from the engines?" TUVOG : "I need to learn all about the navigational controls to do so, but there is no time." MYWAY : "Maybe the holo-doc can help." HOLO-DOC : "Do I look like an engineer? No. Do I look as if I could care for a machine in distress? Even less. So, if no one is in need of medical attention [if you're sick of this story, raise your hand NOW], I'm afraid I am of no use to you at this moment, Captain." MYWAY : "Oh but you are, Doctor. You don't need to heal a computer, just the opposite... All you need to do is to download your own program into that of the ship's main computer, so it can interfere with it and disable the normal operation of this ship." HOLO-DOC : "You mean, my program would act like a virus?" MYWAY : "You got it." HOLO-DOC : "Hmm... I'll give it a try..." When the holo-doc's program has infiltrated the main computer, the ship starts to shake, lights go off and on, alarms sound for no apparent reason and a computer voice utters meaningless phrases. After a while, the chaos ends and all systems shut down... MYWAY : "Just as I thought..." RICARD : "How do you mean?" MYWAY : "I suspect that there are still crew members in Engineering, who noticed the fault in the system, so they shut it down in order to repair it." RICARD : "If that's true, then it won't be long before they restore power to the ship. We must go there and stop them." MYWAY : "Maybe just one of us can go, someone who is immune to physical harm... [watching the holo-doc] Time for your second good deed of the day, my dear H.E.M.P." HOLO-DOC [complaining] : "People just don't have respect for doctors anymore... Oh well, I don't usually make house-calls, but in this case I'll make an exception." Sneaking through the corridors while avoiding contact with the few crew members on board, our reluctant hero finds his way to Engineering, where he sees two engineers at work... HOLO-DOC [creeping up on the engineers] : "Well, you two seem a bit hyperactive... [injecting one of them with a tranquillizer] Here, this sedative will calm you down..." The other engineer tries to hit the holo-doc, but is surprised to see his fist go right through the doc's holographic image... HOLO-DOC : "You look as if you just saw a ghost... [handing out another injection] Let me give you something against hallucinations... It'll make you sleep better as well." As H.E.M.P. looks at the two motionless bodies on the floor and admires his own medical skills, he sees something slimey leaving the ears of his "patients"... HOLO-DOC : "(Remarkable... As soon as the human host is subdued, the alien entity ends its own existence.)" When the holo-doc returns to the Bridge, he is complemented on his work (which makes him feel even more over-important than usual). RICARD : "Now that we have the situation under control, I suggest we return to Earth." TUVOG : "I fear that will not be possible, Sir." MYWAY : "Of course! Since we're running on auxiliary power, we can't travel at warp speed, right?" TUVOG : "That is correct. However, we have a more serious problem." MYWAY : "How do you mean, Too-Vogue?" TUVOG : "The coordinate-system used by this ship's navigational controls is not compatible with standard coordinate-systems normally used for space travel. And since the main computer does not seem to contain any known destinations, I cannot determine the correlation between both systems. Therefore, I cannot translate the coordinates we use to define Earth's position into a location that this computer would interpret correctly." RICARD : "Why would they bother to use a new coordinate-system?" TUVOG : "Presumably as a safety measure, to make sure no one else can use the ship when it is captured." MYWAY : "They thought of everything..." RICARD : "Can't we simply go back the way we came?" TUVOG : "While the systems were malfunctioning, the ship was randomly changing course, so we do not even know in which direction Earth lies." MYWAY : "You mean, we're lost?" TUVOG : "I am afraid so." RICARD : "If only we could capture one of the remaining crew members without driving them to commit suicide, so we could interrogate them..." HOLO-DOC : "I could try to examine the alien parasites in order to find out how they die. To do that, I have to scan one of the crew with my medical tricorder and compare the analysis with that of the remains of a dead alien brain." TUVOG : "I will scan the ship to detect the whereabouts of the remaining crew." After a few minutes, Tuvog has finished. TUVOG : "I have determined the present locations of all crew members, Captain. What puzzles me is that one of them appears to be inside a detention cell." MYWAY : "Why would they lock up one of their own? They seemed too organized to rebel against each other..." TUVOG : "Exactly my thought, Captain. Therefore, it is logical to suggest that this is not one of their own." RICARD : "If that's true, we should try to get him out of there. He might have some valuable information." MYWAY : "Agreed. Doctor, if you don't want to come this time, I understand." HOLO-DOC : "On the contrary, Captain. I actually volunteer to lead this... "mission"..." MYWAY [surprised] : "Really?" HOLO-DOC : "I feel that my abilities are growing, so I would like to use this opportunity to develop them some more." MYWAY : "Granted. Let's go then, everyone!" Under the "leadership" of an over-the-top confident H.E.M.P., the others follow cautiously. Then... TUVOG [alerted by his tricorder] : "Enemy approaching!" While everyone else grabs his phaser, the holo-doc pulls out one of his medicinal tools... HOLO-DOC [dodging a phaser blast from the startled enemy officer] : "Ooh, those muscular spasms look nasty... [using his needle] Here, 300 cc of tocrazine should help... [feeling his abilities grow] Hmm, I'm really beginning to enjoy this..." Along the way to the detention cell, H.E.M.P. swiftly takes "care" of anyone they encounter, curing spasms, anxiety and cases of shock as they go. HOLO-DOC : "No one else? Fine. The next one can get an appointment." MYWAY : "This must be the detention cell we are looking for... [seeing a woman lying on the floor inside] It's an admiral... It looks as if she could use some medical attention, but I don't think she can wait for an appointment..." HOLO-DOC : "I think I'll ask for a raise..." The holo-doc simply walks through the force-field as if it wasn't there and treats the admiral, who slowly recovers and looks up to the doc... ADMIRAL [still somewhat subdued] : "I refuse... to eat... your poison..." HOLO-DOC : "I am a doctor, not a cook. Your blood contains traces of a strong sedative, so I will inject you with an antidote..." ADMIRAL [trying to push the doc away] : "No! Get away from me!..." As the admiral cries out, Ricard - who only now gets a clear view of the woman - recognizes her... RICARD : "Admiral Brynn!" BRYNN [surprised to hear a familiar voice] : "Captain Ricard?!... Is that you? Then the Lesserprize overpowered this ship..." RICARD : "Erm, that's not exactly true, Admiral... Besides, I am no longer captain." BRYNN : "What? But how..." MYWAY : "That's a long story, Admiral. Let's start by getting you out of here." Once Brynn has been liberated from her prison and informed about recent and not-so-recent events, they go to Engineering to see if they can get the systems back on-line. RICARD : "Tell me, Admiral, who brought you here and why?" BRYNN : "It's admiral Eldrick who's behind all of this! He learned that I tried to inform the Lesserprize about this ship and feared that I knew too much, so he decided to get rid of me. Instead of just killing me, he wanted to implant me with one of those alien horrors that replace the human brain! These can only reproduce on their homeworld, so I would have been taken there to undergo surgery [shivering at the thought]." RICARD : "Then the destination of that homeworld has to be inside the ship's database!..." TUVOG [busy trying to reactivate all systems] : "A plausible hypothesis. However, since there are numerous unknown destinations within the ship's computer, we still need someone to tell us which one it is." MYWAY : "Doctor, how is your research on the alien brain progressing?" HOLO-DOC : "I discovered how it managed to kill itself... I am now working on a medicine that should disable the brain to trigger its biological self-destruct mechanism." MYWAY : "Excellent. Now let's find ourselves a guinea-pig..." TUVOG : "As I have kept count of the crew members who have already been eliminated, I have to point out that our holo-doc has been somewhat over-zealous ; there is only one of them left." HOLO-DOC [flattered] : "Well what can I say? I'm good at my job." MYWAY : "I certainly hope so, because it seems you only have one opportunity to extract the information we need." TUVOG : "The main systems are operational again. I will now attempt to locate the last surviving crew member of this ship..." When Tuvog has found his man, they set out to capture him. Having closed him in after a brief search, the holo-doc does his stuff and tries to make his prisoner talk... HOLO-DOC [seeing the frustration on the man's face] : "It's no use, I have neutralised your ability to commit suicide, so unless you want me to disect you alive, you better tell us how we can travel to your homeworld and then return to Earth." Fearing the doc's surgical skills more than death itself, the alienated officer reluctantly agrees to retrieve the correct destinations from the main computer. But after having revealed the location of his homeplanet, the man suddenly starts to gasp while turning pale and then falls to the ground... MYWAY : "What's going on?! I thought you made it impossible for him to kill himself!" HOLO-DOC : "I did. It seems the alien entity found an alternative : it poisoned the human host..." RICARD : "He died before he could tell us how to fly to Earth... We'll never know how to get home again..." BRYNN : "But we can go to their planet. Maybe we'll find someone there who can help us." MYWAY : "That seems to be our only hope... Let's return to the Bridge!" Back on the Bridge, Tuvog enters the coordinates of the alien planet. MYWAY [anxious] : "Very well then, let's see where those blue slimers come from..." RICARD [feeling his old instincts returning] : "Engage!... Sorry, it's been so long..." As the ship goes into warp, the three nacelles slowly start to rotate around the spacecraft, increasingly deforming space as they accelerate. The bright blue light from the resulting wormhole shines through the small transparent dome in the ceiling of the Bridge... BRYNN : "It's marvellous... What do we know about this vessel, anyway?" RICARD : "Not much, really. It hasn't even got a name." BRYNN : "It's such a mysterious ship, flying through space like a whirlwind... I think I'll baptize it... the "Mystral". Yeah, that has a nice ring to it, don't you think?" MYWAY : "A fitting name, Admiral." It doesn't take long before the Mystral reaches its destiny. As it emerges from the wormhole and decelerates, the ship comes to a halt in front of a huge brown planet... BRYNN : "So that ball of mud is the source of all our misery..." TUVOG : "Captain, sensors are picking up signals from a ship near the planet." MYWAY : "I don't see any ship... [watching the planet's horizon] But what's that? I never saw a moon rotate so fast around its planet before..." TUVOG : "That is no moon, Captain. It is the ship I mentioned." BRYNN : "What the flockers...?! "Independence Day Of The 3Rd Kind", eat your heart out!..." RICARD : "I've seen a lot of ships in my time, but never one of this magnitude..." MYWAY : "Incredible... It's as big as a small planet!" The gigantic spaceship rapidly approaches as it continues on its way in orbit around the planet, its millions of lights twinkling in the dark sky... MYWAY : "That thing is getting a bit too close for comfort. Move us out of here, Mr. Too-Vogue." TUVOG : "It would appear we are already too close, Captain. A number of spacecraft, identical in design to the Mystral, are leaving the huge mothership and they are hailing us." MYWAY : "If we answer them, they will probably find out that we're not one of them... Any suggestions, anyone?" Before anybody can say a word, the Mystral gets hit by an impatient phaserblast... BRYNN : "Hey, do they think they're at a shooting-gallery or something?!" MYWAY : "And we're the prize... Evasive manoeuvres, Mr. Too-Vogue!" TUVOG : "That will not be necessary, Captain. I have discovered how to activate the Mystral's cloaking device. We are now invisible to our attackers." MYWAY : "Well done, Too-Vogue!" BRYNN : "You're a smart guy, aren't you?" TUVOG : "I prefer the term "logical", as the word "smart" implies a certain level of superiority, which would be arrogant of me to assume, but since I am in control of my emotions, I cannot be arrogant." BRYNN : "Could have fooled me..." RICARD : "We are safe now, but what about Earth? Those ships can get there in an instant and easily invade our unsuspecting world. And who knows how many of them are still inside that mothership..." TUVOG : "We could try to destroy as many of the docking bays on the mothership as possible, but then we would have to disengage our cloaking device." MYWAY : "Which would make us a sitting duck..." BRYNN [determined] : "Then we'll just have to stretch our wings and drop some eggs on them!" MYWAY : "Well spoken, Admiral! [inspired by Brynn's determination] Prepare to teach that big mother a little lesson, Mr. Too-Vogue! And if her children make trouble, give them a good spanking!" Overwhelmed by so much female boldness, the men (holographic and otherwise) can only comply and Tuvog sets course for the colossal mothership. What ensues then is a battle of epic proportions, with the Mystral repeatedly attacking the flying fortress while avoiding the ever increasing number of retaliating Mystral-like ships to the best of its abilities. But as "best" never seems to be good enough, it gets hit a few times as well and soon sustains some serious damage... TUVOG [unaffected by the smoke escaping out of exploding control panels all around] : "The ship won't hold unless we retreat, Captain!" MYWAY : "I suppose we already inflicted sufficient damage for now. It will take them a while to repair it all, so they won't be thinking of invading Earth so soon..." BRYNN : "And we can always return later to give them another run for their money!" MYWAY [coughing and shaking as another panel explodes] : "My thought exactly. Let's get out of here, Mr. Too-Vogue! I need some time to fix my hair that has come undone, anyway..." As the Mystral can't outrun the pursuing vessels, Tuvog decides to initiate the cloaking device, but finds that it has become inoperative. The only way out is by creating a wormhole... TUVOG : "Captain, we have a problem..." MYWAY [fixing her hair] : "What else is new... All right, what is it this time?" TUVOG : "The navigational controls are malfunctioning... I am not able to get us out of the wormhole... I will have to shut down all systems to return to normal space." RICARD : "Make it so!" But after having "made it so", Tuvog discovers that because of the systems failure, several parts of the computer's memory banks have been erased, including pre-programmed destinations... MYWAY [with a dramatic expression on her face] : "So we're lost... again." Unable to return to the alien planet, the Mystral sets off for an uncertain destiny... In the course of time, Brynn grows fond of Tuvog (opposites attract, or something) and the holo-doc becomes a bit of a "family doctor" for both couples, who are now on an everlasting vacation, roaming through space on board their luxurious starship, the Mystral, making holes in the universe until it resembles Swiss cheese. Stardate 48072.3 (yeah, we're back in the "present" - confusing, eh? Don't worry, it gets worse). Admiral Brynn feels anxious. VERY anxious. She wants to have a chat with captain Ricard, but something is holding her back. Will she finally give in to her gut feeling? Let's hope so, because this time-loop is repeating for the 417th time now. Talk about déjà vu... BRYNN : "(Why do I feel this way? I have the impression that someone is observing me... Nah, that's absurd, I'm just feeling a bit tense...)" Well, it looks as if history is about to repeat itself once again, as Brynn walks to her communications panel, while 15 year old ensign Borman enters her quarters and hears her speak... BRYNN : "Captain, when you go to the Nebula to investigate, look out for, er... (Damn, I'm so nervous! well I hope I won't be at a loss for words when I REALLY contact the Lesserprize! Let's rehearse again... Hey, didn't I just hear something...?)" And indeed she did ; instinctively, she draws her phaser and turns round, only just avoiding a blast from Borman's weapon. As the admiral dives to the ground, she shoots Borman, who resists the effects of the blow. Brynn quickly realizes that her protégé is no longer the person she knew and trusted, so she takes drastic action by setting her phaser at maximum and firing again. As the body falls to the ground, the 31 year old woman gets up and walks towards a lifeless Borman, only to see in horror how a blue substance creeps out of his ears... BRYNN [horrified] : "(What's going on here?! [trying to get herself together] I can't stay here ; I will meet captain Ricard in person...)" Aboard the Lesserprize... MORF [in control of his teeth] : "Captain, we are being hailed. It is admiral Brynn." RICARD [still trapped in a déjà vu feeling] : "Yes, yes, I'll take the message in my quarters!" TOY : "Captain? I sense that you were -" RICARD [impatient] : "Yes I was! We'll talk later..." TOY : "Er, hmpf..." In his quarters, Ricard can almost predict what Brynn has to say - at least so he thinks... RICARD : "Ah, Admiral Brynn. You probably want me to investigate - what was it again?" BRYNN [surprised] : "The nebula?" RICARD : "That's it. Fine, we'll be there shortly. Ricard out." BRYNN : "No, no! Wait! Please stay where you are, Captain! I will rendez-vous with you in one hour. I need to talk to you, in private." RICARD [completely taken by surprise] : "Er... if that's what you really want..." Confused, Ricard enters the Bridge... TOY : "Sir? You are feeling very uncertain of yourself...?" RICARD [pensive] : "It's as if this day has never happened before..." PIKER [looking at Ricard as if he lost his mind - "he" refers to Ricard, as Piker was born looking that way, which wouldn't be worth mentioning] : "Should it?" About an hour later, Brynn is beamed aboard the Lesserprize and joins Ricard in the Briefing Room to express her concern about the appearance of the Nebula and the incident with young Borman. BRYNN : "Do you have any idea about what's going on, Captain?" RICARD : "I'm sorry, Admiral, but I haven't got a clue." But someone obviously has... CUE [flashing his way into the Briefing Room] : "If you don't have a clue, just ask Cue!" RICARD [frustrated] : "Can't you knock before entering?!" CUE [gently knocking on Ricard's bald head] : "Anybody home? There, happy now? Actually, I came to congratulate the admiral." BRYNN : "And who might you be?" CUE : "I am the all-knowing, all-seeing Cue, that's who! And as such, I can tell you that you were all trapped in a time-loop, created by yours truly. But thanks to you, my dear, I can now end it. It was getting a bit boring, after all." RICARD : "A time-loop?! So that's why I had this strong sense of things already having happened..." BRYNN : "So did I! In my head, it felt like I already contacted you before, but something went wrong then, so I hesitated..." CUE : "Which changed this time-line entirely! Once again, we of the Cue Coincidence are most grateful!" RICARD : "But why make a time-loop?" CUE : "Why? Because we didn't like what we saw, that's why. It's what we always do when things don't go the way we want them to." RICARD : "You mean, you did this before?" CUE : "Absolutely! If we hadn't interfered many times like this, humanity would long be extinct by now!" RICARD : "What?! Who gave you the right -" CUE : "WE did! That's the privilige - and duty - of higher life-forms. Whenever we see something go horribly wrong in the cosmos, we feel obliged to correct it!" RICARD : "I cannot believe you feel any kind of responsibility! If you do, then why didn't you save several animal species from extinction?" CUE : "They were never as intriguing as your species." RICARD : "You did it all out of simple curiosity, didn't you? Just to amuse yourselves! It's not because you're virtually omnipotent that you have the right to change the course of history!" CUE : "Oh please, spare me your lecture! And I must correct you : it is not because I am omnipotent that I would change the course of history. All you lower life-forms have such a narrow view of reality! It's as if you're travelling by train and watching the landscape roll by as you continue along the same old railway track that represents your excuse for a life. I merely allow the train to get onto another pair of rails, so you can see it all from a different angle. Shall I demonstrate? I could easily show you what will happen in the other time-line..." RICARD : "No, thanks. I will settle with what I know myself!" CUE [amused] : "Really?! As you wish, then..." Knowing Cue, Ricard is suspicious about the almighty being's attitude, but nevertheless finds himself unprepared for what happens next ; while he is still with Brynn and Cue on the Lesserprize, he is also in the company of captain Myway and her crew aboard the Mystral at the same time... Soon, things return to normal for a dizzy Ricard who has to sit down and recover from the experience. BRYNN : "Captain? What's wrong?" RICARD : "I... was leading another life... had no control over it, like a mere spectator... It was dazzling... [angrily turning towards Cue] You had no right to do that!" CUE : "Well I'm so sorry that I couldn't satisfy your hidden curiosity in a more painfully complicated and elaborate way, but I merely did as you suggested... But I sense that my efforts are not appreciated, so I will take my leave... for now. [in his best French, while making a polite bow in Brynn's direction] Au revoir, Madame!" When Cue has left, Ricard calls his senior officers to join him and Brynn in the Briefing Room. PIKER : "You have some new information, Captain?" RICARD [sighing] : "Yes. We just had a little visit from Cue and, er, he "showed" me what was destined to happen in another time-line, in a not too far future. What he made me experience was very disorienting... How shall I describe it... Do you know these ancient so-called "3D-glasses", with the left lens coloured yellow and the right one blue?" BETA : "Actually, a more common version was the one with the right lens red and the left one blue, while there was another common variation with green -" RICARD [annoyed] : "I'm only trying to make an easy-to-understand comparison, Mr. Beta! To continue... Instead of seeing the resulting colour with both eyes, the brain alternates both colours. And that's how it was when I found myself on board another ship in a different part of the galaxy, while at the same time simply remaining on the Lesserprize..." Ricard goes on to explain what is supposed to happen to the Lesserprize and how his future self and a few others will manage to capture the Mystral. When everyone is briefed, it is decided that they will go to the Nebula, in an attempt to overpower the mysterious vessel a bit earlier and easier than in the alternative time-line. They all leave the Briefing Room, except for Piker, who notices the sad expression on Ricard's face. PIKER : "Is something bothering you, Captain?" RICARD : "In that other life, I was married and had a son... [turning away with tears in his eyes] I... just wish I really had children to spend Xmas at home with..." PIKER : "Is there anything I could do, Sir?" RICARD : "Please just leave me alone for a while, Number One..." PIKER : "I understand, Sir... [walking into the wall and hurting his toe as he turns to leave] Ouch!" RICARD [grateful] : "Oh, thank you for trying to cheer me up, Commander. You're so good at making people laugh, but I'm afraid it's wasted on me today. Thanks anyway..." PIKER [groaning from pain] : "No problem, Sir... Ouch!" BRYNN [who watched Piker's clumsiness through the open door] : "What's up with Ricard?" PIKER : "He misses having kids... [making an effort to sound intellectual] Statistically, there are about 2.4 children in each family nowadays." BRYNN : It's quite obvious that your family is no exception." PIKER : "Why do you say that?" BRYNN : "You are clearly that .4 offspring..." PIKER : "Hmpf... Say, don't I know you from somewhere?" BRYNN [sighing] : "Yeah, try StarForce Command." PIKER : "No, I mean, haven't we met before? BRYNN [annoyed] : "Look, maybe this is how you usually pick up women, but it doesn't work with me, buster! Now flock off!" Piker decides it's best to disappear out of the admiral's sight and goes for a walk through the corridors, but nevertheless runs into her again, even if he's not aware of it... PIKER : "Uh, hello, ensign. Er, I'm sorry about the way I treated you before, but I wasn't myself." YUN : "Oh? Well, let me know when you are." PIKER : "Er, hmpf. Say, you remind me of someone..." YUN : "What? Don't try to chat me up, pal! Haven't you got anything better to do, like getting run over by a shuttlecraft or something?" PIKER : "Hey, you could show some respect for me!" YUN : "Oh yeah? What for?" PIKER [thinking hard] : "Er... because I'm much older than you!" YUN : "Hmmm... Well, considering your pathetic way of life, I guess it IS some kind of an achievement that you still managed to become this old. Hey man, R-E-S-P-E-C-T!" When the Lesserprize reaches the Nebula, the ship is in a state of red alert, ready to face a hostile Mystral. Soon, the enemy ship decloaks and the battle begins. Thanks to Ricard's knowledge of the Mystral's defensive capabilities and weaknesses, the Lesserprize slowly but surely gains the upper hand. MORF [eagerly] : "Yes! Their weapons systems are damaged beyond repair! Captain, I would like to beam over to the Mystral, so I can rip its crew to pieces with my bare teeth!" RICARD [upset] : "Mr. Morf, in all those years as a StarForce officer, haven't you learned anything?!" MORF [suddenly ashamed] : "Er, you're right, Captain, I forgot... [sincere] I swear upon my honour, that I WILL brush my teeth afterwards!" RICARD : "Ah, that's more like it. Off you go, then." MORF : "My teeth thank you, Sir!" Aboard the Mystral, Morf zips through the baffled crew members like a living chain-saw. After his one-man slaughter, he returns to the Lesserprize (and immediately goes to his quarters to brush his teeth). When he proudly enters the Bridge, he suddenly feels a cramp in his stomach. PIKER : "Something wrong, Morf?" MORF : "Er, I accidentally took a bite out of the corner of a metal wall... [smiling] My new teeth are GOOD!" RICARD [watching the ship's chronometer] : "Well, it seems the time-line has indeed changed... By now, a shuttle should have emerged out of the Nebula, but I suppose that won't happen this time... [looking satisfied at first, then turning pale] and neither will the attack on the alien mothership! Mr. Morf, call for reinforcements! NOW!" PIKER [not understanding the gravity of the situation - as usual] : "Sir?" RICARD : "I'm certain that admiral Eldrick knows what we did to the Mystral... If he decides to deploy his armada now, Earth would be defenceless. We need to protect our world..." Following Ricard's fear of a massive invasion force, several StarForce vessels are called in to patrol the regions of space near Earth. MORF : "Reinforcements are on the way, Captain. Several starships are coming to aid us : the Extradice, the Nevertwice, the Betternice, the Rebelvice, the Everwise... Why do all those names rhyme with "Enterpr-"...? [quiet, Morf! You're not paramount to say that! Oops...]" Not long after the ships have arrived, Ricard's suspicions are about to be confirmed... MORF : "Incoming message from admiral Eldrick, Sir." RICARD : "As I expected... On screen!" ELDRICK : "Just what do you think you're doing? Why have you brought all those ships here? You are in violation of my specific orders to stay away from this nebula!" RICARD : "With all due respect, Admiral, you can go to hell! I know where you come from and I know all about your plans to invade Earth, but you won't succeed!" ELDRICK [defiantly] : "So, you think you're clever, eh? [ending communications] We'll see about that..." An intense moment of calm and quiet is broken by Beta's voice... BETA : "Captain, Outpost 14 has detected a sudden increase of tachyon particles, 16 light-years ahead of us." RICARD [fearing the worst] : "It has begun..." BETA : "Several wormholes are opening, Sir." BRYNN : "Then we shall exterminate the worms that crawl out of those holes!" Under the charismatic leadership of admiral Brynn, the StarForce fleet valiantly engages the ships that emerge out of their artificially created wormholes. The enemy is strong... MORF : "The Extradice has run out of luck! The Rebelvice has been tamed! The Betternice looks upset! The Everwise is out of wits! The Nevertwice survived a second attack! The Heavensize has shrunk to a pile of debris! The LetUsRise has fallen! The Centralize has been sidelined! [confident] But for the rest, we are doing well, Captain." Despite numerous casualties, a handful of StarForce vessels - including the Lesserprize, which courageously positioned itself behind the others - survive the alien onslaught. In the euphoria of victory, only Morf notices something missing... MORF : "Sir! The Nebula... it is gone!" RICARD : "According to what I remember from the other time-line, it only disappeared a couple of hours from now, in a big, white flash. But this time, it's as if it never even existed in the first place. Then history really has changed..." BRYNN : "But will it be for the better?" RICARD : "Who knows?" CUE [snapping himself onto the Bridge] : "Correction! That should be "Cue knows"!..." BRYNN : "Hey, could you please dim that built-in flashlight of yours? You're worse than a press photographer!" CUE [suddenly looking like a reporter and pointing a camera at Brynn] : "Smile! [taking out a pen and a notebook] The people would like to know, how is our charming time-traveller doing?" BRYNN : "What are you talking about?" CUE : "Oh, I suppose Ricard neglected to tell you about that little detail, did he?" RICARD [whispering to Cue] : "(Must you really do this?! Telling her will only create problems!)" CUE [arrogantly] : "(Then I will solve them!)" BRYNN [suspicious] : "Is there something you wanted to tell me, Ricard?" RICARD [angrily watching Cue] : "I suppose that if I don't, someone else will..." Reluctantly, Ricard tells the admiral how she will enter the Nebula in the other time-line and end up in the past, but refuses to reveal her former identity. BRYNN : "But why didn't I disappear along with the Nebula, changing also our past? There can't be a consequence if the cause lies in a future which no longer exists?" CUE : "Oh, but that future still exists, in one of the infinite number of realities, parallel to this one!" RICARD : "If there are an infinite number of parallel realities, why bother with this one, where everything goes wrong?" CUE : "It's not that simple. You see, the train of universal consciousness chooses its own route across the possible realities. Sometimes, we don't like where it's going and persuade it to change direction by introducing a time-loop, in which it are not the events themselves that are repeated, but which forces the consciousness to relive them over and over again, until it causes a living entity to change some of these events. That's how we keep the universe from destroying itself." RICARD : "Those are nice words, but the only real danger the universe could ever face, is you messing with it!" CUE : "Oh Ricard, you are truly hopeless!" BRYNN : "Can't the two of you stop arguing?! We just prevented an alien invasion, so we should be partying, to celebrate our victory!" CUE : "What a wonderful idea! Shall we dance?" With a snap of his fingers, Cue's costume changes into a tuxedo, while Ricard suddenly has long blond hair and is wearing a pink dress and high heels, as Cue takes him for a slow waltz across the Bridge, which now looks like a 17th century ballroom. RICARD [not amused] : "Let me go, Cue!" CUE [elegantly throwing Ricard across the room, leaving him spinning for a while] : "Fine." RICARD [dizzy and frustrated] : "For such a "higher being", you can really act like a child! I fear for the fate of the universe when you will REALLY lose your head one day!" CUE : "I never lose my head! [popping off his head and waving it in front of Ricard] Well here it is, isn't it?" RICARD [upset] : "Why don't you just f... flash off!" CUE [plopping his head back in place] : "You look SO cute when you're angry!" All of a sudden, Morf is alarmed by the sound of an ancient telephone that stands nearby. Apprehensively, he picks up the receiver and listens... PIKER : "That'll be the neighbours, to complain about the noise..." MORF : "It is admiral Eldrick!" RICARD : "On screen!" Cue claps his hands twice and a pair of curtains gives way to reveal an old- fashioned moviescreen, upon which a devious looking Eldrick appears. Ricard would have preferred to see another movie... ELDRICK : "So, it would seem I underestimated you... No matter. You force my hand, Captain. I did not anticipate having to take such drastic action, but you leave me no choice..." RICARD [not impressed] : "Your threats don't frighten me. As far as I'm concerned, it's curtains for you, Admiral!" Cue claps again and the curtains cover Eldrick's upset face. RICARD : "Cue, I would really appreciate it if you returned my Bridge to its normal appearance!" CUE : "Well, because you ask so nicely... [with a simple gesture, everything is turned back to normal] It was fun, but now I must leave you to fulfil your destiny. I look forward to our next dance!" Cue is hardly gone, or that destiny already reveals itself... MORF : "Large ship decloaking straight ahead!" RICARD : "Mr. Beta, what type of ship are we dealing with?" BETA : "Design unknown. Armament unknown. Defensive capabilities unknown. Origin unknown. Nice colour." RICARD [nervous] : "Can you tell me anything else, Mr. Beta?" BETA : "I know 3,456,849,287 subjects about 2,735,942 topics, Sir, including -" Beta's barrage of scientific expressions is brought to a halt when the alien ship suddenly shoots white rays of energy at all StarForce vessels, except at the Lesserprize. PIKER : "Peach-blue alert! Raise sh-" When Piker is able to continue his favourite phrase, he finds that he, together with Ricard, Brynn, Beta, Morf, LaGorge, Toy and the kitchen sink, is no longer on the Bridge... RICARD [looking around] : "Where are we?!" Indeed, where are they? In a small room with a large window, apparently, with a view into a huge area, only slightly lit by a purple, fluorescent substance in two enormous, vertical cylinders towering in front of them. LAGORGE [examining the strange substance through his visor] : "What is that? Seems familiar... Of course! Captain, because my visor allows me to see things that other people can't, I noticed something strange about the chemical composition of the Nebula... and the stuff inside those tubes is similar!" RICARD : "Could this be a laboratory, where the Nebula is being analysed?" LAGORGE : "Hmmm, I doubt it... Those tubes almost look like reactors. Nah, that's simply impossible!" RICARD : "What is it, Mr. LaGorge?" LAGORGE : "If this is what I think, then it's a major breakthrough in modern science! I've read about a certain professor Zylunn Joraq, who was working on a new type of propulsion, based on highly accelerated "M-speed" or "mega-speed" particles, which are supposed to be much faster than any warp speeds, but that was still extremely experimental." BRYNN : "But shouldn't anything going faster than warp 10 travel back in time?" LAGORGE : "Yes, but that's because of the limitation of the speed within our universe. By changing the constant of the universe within those reactors, that boundery is being pushed way back." PIKER [scratching his hair] : "But what has all that got to do with the Nebula?" LAGORGE : "It's just a theorie, but suppose that, somewhere in the future, a ship powered with these M-speed particles gets damaged in a fight. Normally, these particles should be shielded by what Joraq called a Nagayev-field. It's possible that during the fight, one of the reactors gets hit, shutting down the protective Nagayev-field. The M-speed particles would be dispersed all over the place and form a huge, nebula-like cloud around the ship. Since those particles would then be affected by the normal universal speed limitation, that cloud would effectively start to travel back in time, taking the ship with it." On a screen in the wall opposite to the window, the smug face of admiral Eldrick lights up... ELDRICK : "My compliments, Mr. LaGorge! My people will be most pleased to assimilate such a brilliant technical mind like yours! And in case you're wondering what happened to that ship within the Nebula : you're on it!" RICARD : "What did you do to our vessels?! And why have you brought us here?!" ELDRICK : "Don't worry, Captain, I didn't harm anyone... yet. All I did was wipe our their active memories and their sense of identity, to prepare them for assimilation. All of their skills remain intact, however, so they can serve us better." BRYNN : "You bastard! You turn our people into slaves!" RICARD : "Now I remember... in the other time-line, our shuttle was hit by a scanning ray that erased our memories, when we were inside the Nebula. But why didn't you assimilate us then?" ELDRICK : "Those aboard were preoccupied with repairing the ship's Sickbay and other damaged areas, so they couldn't do anything at that time. All there was left was an automatic defence mechanism to disable human opponents without decreasing their efficiency. It's an ingenious weapon, wouldn't you say?" RICARD [outraged] : "Barbaric, that's what I say! And why did you spare us this time?" ELDRICK : "Oh, I decided to beam you aboard this ship because I wanted to show you how I will take over mankind entirely! Consider yourself privileged, hahahahhah!" PIKER [whispering to Brynn] : "(He's obviously a typical villain ; instead of seizing the opportunity to eliminate his arch-enemy, he lets it slip to boast about his evil intentions. As he spills the beans about his plans, the hero always sees his chance to take matters into his own hands.)" BRYNN : "(Yeah, but who's gonna be the hero this time? Have someone in mind?)" PIKER : "(He's tall, like me, has a black beard and moustache, like mine and is rather smart. Ring a bell?)" BRYNN : "(Hey, I didn't know you had an intelligent twin brother?)" PIKER : "(Hmpf...)" ELDRICK [who continues to "spill the beans"] : "Each time this ship phased to a moment further back in time, the strength of the M-speed particles decreased, until five years ago, when they faded away completely. At that point, the ship realigned itself with the normal progression of time. That's when the crew members who survived the attack in the future managed to capture admiral Eldrick and a few others by simply beaming them out of their StarForce headquarters. Once they were assimilated, Earth's future belonged to us!" RICARD : "Then the future - as it was - isn't just a result of its past, it also created that past!" ELDRICK : "Exactly. And you may have changed the course of history, but not necessarily in your favour. Indeed, Captain, all you have in fact done is accelerate the speed of events, not prevent them!" RICARD : "Really? Tell me, why haven't you completely invaded our world yet?" ELDRICK : "We didn't have the necessary invasion force ready yet. On our world, there is a very strong gravitational force, which makes things happen very slowly ; one year for a human's activities is comparable to ten years for my people. That's why fast working human slaves on a low-gravity planet are so interesting for us." RICARD : "But why haven't you assimilated more of us in that case?" ELDRICK : "There weren't enough spores on board this ship to implant within your brains, while the reactors were only fully repaired recently. It took this long because we had to work in secret." RICARD : "Spores? From plants?" ELDRICK : "There are no real plants on my homeplanet. Two basic types of life exist on my world : the Naq, who are nothing but primitive animals, and the Zar, highly intelligent, tree-like beings. The Zar and the Naq depend on each other for survival. The Zar are trapped in the soil, just like the trees on Earth, but they have very flexible branches, which can easily capture a Naq and inject the spores into its skull. These spores begin to develop within the animal's brain and gradually take its place, giving the assimilated Naq the intelligence of the Zar. The Zar'Naquians, the hybrid life-form that is created this way, is, as such, the governing sentient race on Zar'Naq, my planet. The Zar are highly respected in our culture, because our children - which cannot genetically inherit their parents' intelligence - still need to receive the intelligent spores from them." BRYNN [whispering to Piker] : "(Hey, "hero", wake up!)" PIKER [sleepy] : "(What? [yawning] I always fell asleep in biology class. I'm feeling like those tree-like Zar already, having to stand here all the time, almost growing roots...)" BRYNN : "(Yeah, receiving their spores would do you some good, too...)" ELDRICK : "Now that this ship is fully operational again, I will take you with me to Zar'Naq, where you will be assimilated and where I will collect a new load of spores, which will be implanted into the entire human race! You probably see us as monsters, but this is just the way we live. With Earth taken over, the new race of Zar'Humans will prosper and expand across the universe, thanks to combined Zar'Naquian and StarForce technology, like the Space Bender Class starships that were built according to plans within this ship's database." BRYNN : "And that we defeated!" ELDRICK : "Only because they were outnumbered! If there had been more time, a larger fleet would have been built that could easily have eliminated all of you! But all that is now irrelevant... [switching off his viewer] We leave shortly, so enjoy your humanity as long as you still can, hehehheh!" RICARD : "I do not have any intentions of becoming a Zar'Human... Mr. Beta, can you find a way out of here?" Beta immediately tries the door on the left, but he can't open it. He also notices a small panel beside the door and unscrews it. BETA : "Short-circuiting this access panel should open the door, but I need some electric wire..." Without hesitating, a surprisingly athletic Brynn takes a leap and splinters the viewscreen with a fierce karate kick, revealing more electric wires than Beta can handle. PIKER [with his mouth hanging open and eyes as big as saucers] : "Uh..." RICARD : "Are you alright, Admiral?" BRYNN : "Yeah, it's a good thing I always wear these heavy boots..." Thanks to Brynn's help, Beta quickly gets the door open. RICARD : "Well, who wants to go first?" BRYNN [giving Piker an encouraging pat on the back] : "I know someone who would love to!" PIKER [reluctant] : "Er... alone?" RICARD : "Is that a problem, Number One?" PIKER [trying to impress] : "The word "problem" isn't in my dictionary, Sir!" RICARD [not impressed] : "Then that must be why you don't know one when you see one..." With his arrogance outweighing his cowardice, Piker finally decides to lead the others out of their prison. When they notice they're walking into a dead end, they all turn round and move in the opposite direction, leaving Piker in a more comfortable position - behind the others. But along the way, that position becomes less comfortable as a Zar'Human sneaks out of a side-passage and shoots Piker from behind. Quickly, Morf turns and eliminates the half- alien. MORF : "Commander Piker is still alive, Captain. He is merely unconscious." When Brynn sees Piker lying on the floor in such a way that anyone would simply have to feel compassion for him, she deals with the situation in her own unique way... BRYNN [violently kicking Piker with her big boots] : "Get up, you lazy bum! [seeing that Piker doesn't move] Alright, I suppose he's not faking..." RICARD [sighing] : "Oh well, please carry him, Mr. Beta." BETA [casually throwing Piker over his shoulder] : "Yes, Sir." BRYNN : "Counselor Toy, can you sense Eldrick's presence? Maybe you can lead us to him." TOY : "I will try, Admiral." After another couple of wrong turns, they eventually reach a large door. When Beta manages to open it, they swiftly dispose of the guards at the other side. In the middle of the room sits admiral Eldrick, astonished to see his prisoners storming the Bridge of his ship. ELDRICK : "How did you...?!" BRYNN [pointing her phaser at Eldrick] : "Never mind, you alien slime! We humans are not as dumb as those Naq on your world!" RICARD [examining the navigational console] : "(Hmm, these controls look the same as those on the Mystral...)" TOY : "Captain, how will we get off this ship?" RICARD : "I remember how the transporters work on the Mystral... I'm convinced this ship uses the same technology." Despite Brynn's threatening phaser, Eldrick has the audacity to push a button on his chair... LAGORGE [feeling the ship shake] : "Hey, what's happening?!" ELDRICK [still feeling superior] : "Hahahhah! I have engaged the ship's engines! Soon, we will reach Zar'Naq! You cannot escape your fate! [laughing like a madman] Hahhahhahah!" BRYNN : "Well Admiral, I think you should have your head examined... [paralysing Eldrick with her phaser]" RICARD : "I've had enough of aliens dictating our fate... These must be the emergency transporter controls..." Feeling time running out, Ricard quickly presses some buttons and suddenly, they all dematerialize from the Bridge of the alien ship... ...And rematerialize on the Lesserprize. TOY : "Congratulations, Captain, you did it!" BRYNN : "But what about Eldrick? We have to stop him!" LAGORGE : "We can't. That ship is too fast for us. We could use the Mystral, but its engines are damaged..." RICARD [confident] : "I don't think he will bother us again... I input a new destination into the navigational system, one that I remembered from aboard the Mystral..." On the Bridge of the alien ship, Eldrick wakes up and looks around... ELDRICK : "Where are they?... No matter, we'll soon be home! Ah, there we are... Let's see the beautiful sight of our world... On screen!" But instead of seeing his homeplanet, Eldrick is startled by a blackness that seems to grow ever bigger... ELDRICK : "Computer, reverse course! Now!" It is too late. The gravitational pull of the black hole has already become too strong for the alien ship, which is being sucked in at a continuously increasing speed. ELDRICK [fittingly dramatical] : "AAAAAHH!!" Back aboard the Lesserprize, Piker is slowly recovering... PIKER : "Sorry that I was of no use to you, Captain." RICARD : "Don't be so modest, Number One! I think you performed magnificently!" PIKER : "But, I was unconscious the whole time, being nothing more than a burden to everyone..." RICARD : "In other words, you carried out your duties as well as ever. And as a reward, why don't you take some time off, so you can serve me even better?" PIKER : "Er, thank you, Sir..." BRYNN : "Why don't we all have a break? After all that's happened, I think we could use it!" RICARD : "A good idea, Admiral! Mr. Beta, set course for Dip Sauce 9!" BETA : "Aye, Sir." When the Lesserprize docks at Dip Sauce 9, Brynn notices a familiar face among the ensigns leaving the ship... BRYNN : "That ensign I saw just leaving, she looked like me, a good 15 years younger!" RICARD [hesitating] : "Er, I'm certain that's just a coincidence, Admiral..." BRYNN : "You don't sound too sure of that..." RICARD [reluctant] : "Alright, I suppose you would find out sooner or later anyway... That is ensign Bjani Yun, 14 years of age, who witnessed the partial destruction of the Lesserprize in the other time-line. Twelve years later, she will feel the need to rectify what happened. She will go inside the Nebula in an attempt to change history, in which - with the aid of the Cue's time-loop - she eventually succeeded..." BRYNN : "Then she IS me... Please, tell me everything about her! I promise, I will never tell her, as it would only make her feel uneasy, but I have to know who I was..." Meanwhile, Brynn's former self tries to relax on the Lemonade Deck. YUN : "Ensign Krim, do you know if commander Piker will come aboard the station too?" KRIM : "I think so." YUN : "Then I'll better put on lots of perfume." KRIM : "I thought you couldn't stand him?" YUN : "That's just it. I use it so I wouldn't smell HIS body-odour, you see." A short while later, she bumps into Piker, who is watching some old TV recordings at a holo-disc stand. PIKER : "It's a shame that TV doesn't exist anymore. I could watch it all day long!" YUN : "Yeah, I can imagine..." PIKER : "See that red triangle on the screen? That means it's a film for really stupid people. The more triangles, the more stupid you have to be to like it. It's been a while since I saw a really good movie." YUN : "You probably never see much of your favourite movies, do you?" PIKER : "Nah, so little time to watch anything..." YUN : "No, I meant, with all those triangles plastered all over the screen." PIKER : "Erm..." A bit later, there's an ancient news recording. PIKER : "That's the best president America ever had : Bill Clingon! [so good, that the Cling-On's called themselves after him]" CLINGON : "In the beginning, I was just a little shit, but when you live in America, your personality is growing and growing, so people walk by and say with respect : "Oooh, BIG shit!" Whatever you ARE, in America you are a STAR!" PIKER [with a proud tear in his eye and misplaced patriotism] : "What a guy!" Later, there's another program Piker is interested in... PIKER : "Hey look, it's the "Too White Show", with Ray Benno. The name of the show refers to the frequent remarks that the host makes about a certain Mike L. Klaxon, a black would-be singer from that time period who turned into a pale-looking zombie after several unsuccessful skin- operations." TV-VOICE : "And now, here's Raaaay Bennoooo!" BENNO [giggling, amused by his own "funny" thoughts] : "Hihhihhih, there was this American couple who got married lately. A young, well-formed female and a rich old guy with a weak heart and a hearing problem, hihhihhih. When the priest asked the woman if she would care for her husband in sickness and in health, the old man got a heart-attack and said to the girl, accusingly, "I knew it! All you're interested in is my money!". He died shortly afterwards. Apparently, he understood "in thickness and in wealth", hihhihhihih! But this tragic story had a happy ending for the young woman, though : in true American style, she took the money and ran! Hihihhihih!" PIKER [bemused] : "That must have been one of his crappiest jokes ever... [smiling] Damn, I can never get enough of his shows!" BENNO : "But now for some more interesting news! Yesterday, Mike L. Klaxon was finally put in jail, following proof that he had been seriously underpaying his dance instructor. Maybe you wonder why the guy has never filed charges, but hey, since when can monkeys talk? It came out when they saw Mike's pet moondancing. Poor Mike, going through so much trouble to make people believe he wants to look like his sister LaToyota Klaxon, just to hide the fact he wants to be like his real idol, his pet monkey." Despite his earlier "dispute" with Quirk, Morf nevertheless tries his luck again at the small Meringi's bar. MORF : "Something strong to drink! And NO water this time!!" QUIRK : "Why do you think water isn't strong? It can carry heavy ships, can't it?" MORF : "GRRRR!!" Morf's growling is answered by the accusing lyrics from the Space Girls who are performing at Quirk's Bar. SPACE GIRLS : "Where do you think you a-are? Be quiet at Quirk's Ba-ar!" After his talk with Brynn, Ricard also sets off for some entertainment on the station. RICARD [walking in a small park] : "(This is the place where I started meeting captain Myway, in the other time-line... Now that our destiny has changed, maybe it will never happen...)" But to Ricard's delight, it seems some things haven't changed, as he sees Myway coming his way... RICARD [kissing Myway on a bench] : "(I'm glad Cue has nothing to do with this...)" Suddenly, a nut falls from a nearby tree on Ricard's head. When he looks up into the foliage of the tree, he sees a squirrel suspiciously blinking an eye at him and disappearing in a flash... Several hours of fun and games later, the Lesserprize crew returns to the ship, where Brynn has another look at Yun, who walks along to her quarters and doesn't notice the admiral standing next to Ricard amongst the crowd at the entrance. BRYNN [sad] : "I will never know what will become of her... It's like watching a part of myself walking away from me..." RICARD : "Let go, Admiral. This is not the Yun that will go aboard that shuttlecraft in 12 years' time... It's someone else now." BRYNN : "You're right, of course. Besides, I should have known this would happen when I decided to go back in time, so I have to be able to live with it." RICARD : "What are you going to do, now that StarForce has lost its leading man?" BRYNN : "Well, since there will be an election for a new Head of StarForce Command, maybe it's time it got a leading woman..." RICARD : "You certainly have my vote, Admiral! The best of luck to you." BRYNN : "Thanks, Captain. Actually, I would also like to command a starship myself... Now that the Mystral has been rendered harmless, I'll take it to the nearest starbase to repair it and assign a new crew to it. We can learn a lot from its advanced technology. Well, I think I'll leave now. Goodbye, Captain." RICARD : "Goodbye, Admiral." Leaving Dip Sauce 9 and admiral Brynn behind, the Lesserprize is back en route for unknown destinations, dragging its own weight among the stars. Today is a big occasion for ensign Yun ; it's her first time on the Bridge... YUN [entering the Bridge] : "(Wow! The place where all the action happens! [placing her toy-robot nearby] I feel more comfortable with you around...)" RICARD : "Ah, peace and quiet at last. Hmm, a bit boring, though..." CUE [wearing the outfit of a low-ranked officer] : "Can I be of some assistance?" RICARD [startled] : "Cue!" CUE : "True. Hello, John-Luke! How is life? Still as pitiful as always, I presume?" RICARD : "What are you doing here, Cue? Haven't you interfered enough?" CUE : "Oh, I just came to admire the fruits of my work!" RICARD : "Your work?" CUE : "You really have a short memory, haven't you? If there is no more alien threat, then it's because of ME! And I have to say, everything looks perfect, just p... [slowly turning round, watching Yun's toy as if he sees a ghost] Well, well, you managed to hide from my all-seeing vision pretty well..." RICARD [also looking in Yun's direction] : "Ensign? What is that toy doing on my Bridge?" YUN : "I'm sorry, Captain, it's just my mascot... I felt very tense, thinking about coming on the Bridge for the first time, so I brought it with me to calm me down..." With all the attention focused on her, Yun starts to feel very nervous and as to demonstrate what she just said, her little robot starts to hum a lovely, enchanting tune that visibly sooths Yun. CUE [intrigued] : "Well that's interesting... Humans seem to act as a catalyst for these beings." PIKER : "Beings? Ensign Yun, where did you get that toy?" YUN : "I found it near a dump yard. I noticed a beeping noise and discovered it. When I picked it up, it immediately started to make a delightful sound, as if to thank me. I always thought it was just a cleverly programmed toy." CUE [cautiously looking at Yun's "toy"] : "Oh please, don't be so naïve! You have no idea what you're dealing with. It's still pretty harmless, but in time it will develop into something that will destroy you all! Give it to me, so I can dispose of it." RICARD : "You have already done enough. We will deal with this... "threat" ourselves if necessary." CUE [angry] : "Don't be so foolish! Why don't you trust me? Didn't I help you already?" RICARD : "Exactly. Why do it again so soon?" CUE : "Now you're being ungrateful. I only did it for -" RICARD : "- your amusement! Now as I see it, this entity clearly does not represent much entertainment to you since you're so eager to "dispose of it", and I find that quite... amusing. So I think we'll decline your kind offer this time, thank you." CUE [in a threatening tone of voice] : "You'll regret this!" Cue snaps his fingers and disappears in an angry flash of light. LAGORGE : "I've never seen him so upset before..." Outside, in space, Cue watches the Lesserprize with contempt. CUE : "I really wonder if they would still be this bold if they didn't have their technology to back them up..." Suddenly, LaGorge and Beta seem to lose all of their technical knowledge. LaGorge can't tell a screwdriver and a spoon apart anymore, while Beta has become even less useful than a rusty tin can... PIKER : "Beta, change course! We're going to crash onto that planet! Jordi, do something!" But Beta just sits there, completely immobile, while LaGorge has his sights set at infinity and his brain at zero. Soon, the Lesserprize enters the atmosphere of a nearby planet... CUE : "Hahahahha! So you thought this story was already over? Well, this is just the beginning... of the end! Surely, those arrogant insects have all perished by now!" AND THEN, THERE WAS SILENCE... CUE : "Indeed. Just silence. Ah, isn't it wonderful? No more annoying humans around! Just us! Oh? You still expect them to survive that crash? You really are pathetically loyal readers, aren't you? Haha, how amusing! It's all over, so just go and do something else -" Shhht! Be still, Cue! Can't you see it? There's something moving inside that planet's atmosphere... Yes, it's the Lesserprize! CUE : "What?! That's impossible!" And it seems that Beta and LaGorge are back to normal, too. CUE [aboard the Lesserprize] : "What's the meaning of this?! Why are you still alive?" RICARD : "It's the being inside the toy that saved us! It seems to be on the same emotional wavelength as we, Cue. That's why the combination is so powerful, but that's something you'll never understand!" CUE [turning himself into a huge fly-squasher] : "I'll crush you like an insect!" But then, some kind of energy enters Ricard and takes possession of his mind and body... CUE [returning to his human shape] : "Well, well, you want to defy me in combat? Then let's "make it so", as you always say..." Cue snaps his fingers and a huge fire starts to surround Ricard, who remains calm. Before the fire has the chance to reach him, an intensely damp mist emanates from Ricard's body and quickly extinguishes the flames. CUE : "Hah! You don't stand a chance! You cannot defeat me!" As Cue says this, he sees his own image reflected against the ceiling of the Bridge, above Ricard. REFLECTION : "...you cannot defeat me..." PIKER : "(Yeah, it's all done with mirrors.)" Cue suddenly looks pale, as if he realizes he has underestimated his opponent. And indeed he has, since Ricard makes a simple gesture, causing Cue great pain. Like a clay-puppet, he is being deformed and moulded beyond recognition, until eventually, he turns into something complex, yet, almost ethereal, unreal, beyond every description. All those on the Bridge somehow know that this is Cue's true appearance, twisting and curling in agony. Then, the shape disappears in a blinding flash. RICARD [feeling the alien energy flowing out of him] : "It is leaving us..." Later, Ricard is sitting at his desk in his quarters, looking demoralized and uninterested, when Cue - in the shape of a boxer with a black eye - rejoins him. CUE : "While that thing is gone, I wanted to congratulate you on your victory... Why the sad face? You beat me, didn't you? You should feel great!" RICARD [not even looking up] : "Hmmm?" CUE [making a small bell appear out of thin air and ringing it] : "Anybody there?" RICARD [sighing] : "I'm not the one who defeated you, the alien who controlled my body is. And that's what's bothering me. Aliens that are even more powerful than you, the almighty Cue, and knowing that our universe is only a microscopically small, insignificant part of a much larger universe. It puts everything into perspective, doesn't it? I mean, what's the use of exploring the galaxy if you know you'll never really understand it? You were right, Cue, we're not ready to be here. Our existence is insignificant." CUE [genuinly surprised] : "You almost make ME feel sad as well! It must be contagious! No wonder that alien chose not to stick around, there's just no fun to be had with humans! [flashing off] Farewell!" A few days later, Ricard decides it's time to pass on the captain's chair to someone else. Just when he is studying his farewell speech, ensign Yun enters his quarters. YUN [with tears in her eyes] : "I thought that when the alien left, I would never see it again, but last evening, it returned! But it wasn't the same anymore. It somehow made me understand that it had matured, grown up. But it also reassured me that it would always be there for me whenever I need it, and that its race doesn't experience time the way we do... Oh, Captain, I love the beauty of the universe and the wonderful things in it!" Affected by Yun's enthusiasm, Ricard looks at his badge and feels ashamed... RICARD [entering the Bridge] : "Well, what are you all standing there? We have a whole universe to explore!" Relieved to see their captain motivated again, the officers on the Bridge quickly take their places. PIKER : "(I thought that chair would have been mine now, Sir.)" RICARD : "(Oh, you're not getting rid of me that easily, Number One.) Set course and speed for... anywhere. Engage!" Back on Earth, admiral Brynn is sitting in the front row inside a huge auditorium, where the election for new Head of StarForce is taking place. She is currently sharing the lead in votes with admiral Kuirk, the former captain of the Yesterprice. It's now down to the final votes, to be given by Brynn's two logical advisors, Vetok and Nurak... NURAK [taking the stand] : "The choice was difficult, but our decision logical. Both finalists are irrational, impulsive, compelled to make illogical decisions and have the annoying habit of being unpredictable." VETOK : "However, admiral Brynn is additionally whimsical and strives to be contradictory all the time, but worst of all : she is never content with the way things are and continually wants to make radical changes in StarForce Rules, which we find utterly unacceptable. Therefore, we have decided..." BRYNN : "(Yeah, goodbye promotion...)" KUIRK [optimistic] : "(I'm too famous to ignore, since I've been in so many movies and series...)" VETOK : "... that she is the ultimate representative of the human race, thus ideally suited to become Head of StarForce Command. She has all our support." KUIRK [disappointed] : "(Too bad those movies and series were all crap, though.)" Completely overwhelmed and excited by the unexpected verdict, Brynn jumps over the table in front of her and runs towards Vetok and Nurak. BRYNN [hugging and basically squeezing the living daylights out of her advisors] : "Oh, come here, you silly, lovely boys!" NURAK [gasping for breath] : "(What have we done... to deserve this, Vetok?)" VETOK [gasping back] : "(It is... logical...)" And the rest, as they say, is history. If no one objects, I will now close this story, OK? READER : "Hey, what happened to the Piker in the future of the original time- line? Did he become a Cue or what?!" Oh, well, you see, he - PIKER [appearing in an irritated flash] : "That's none of your damn business! Now go and do something else before I change you into a toad!" Hey?! Who put out the lights?! Well I guess that's all then, folks! CUE : "May the Cue be with you!" THE END Yeah, mankind's future looks bright again... or does it? SMALL PROBE [just decloaking] : "Historical probe 14CE2 reporting. This is the year 3,204 Before Kridnor. We are looking at the Trima colony, still inhabited by its now long extinct indigenous alien race, who called this planet "Earth"..." Written and conceived by Thomas Stevens, also known as "the Great Cue" (5/11/96 - 10/11/97) Publishing of this story is not allowed without my authorization. You may pass on this story to your friends if you give me credit for it. If not, admiral Brynn will court-martial you! Any unfortunate resemblances with virtual people is just a sorry coincidence. TIME TABLE of main characters' age at each Stardate 47553.7 48072.3 49236.1 Henry - - 10 Borman 10 15 27 Yun 9 14 26 Brynn 26 31 43
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